Aquarius, Gemini & Libra- Air Elemental Reading for December 2019.

Welcome to December, Air Signs! This reading is for Aquarius, Gemini and Libra. This is a general Reading. Be sure to read your Rising and Moon Signs as well. You may venture to Astro.com to find out your ASC and Moon.

With the Lenormand for the month of December, I am seeing Loyalty playing a huge part in your life. Close friendships or connections- Who is going to be there for you through thick and thin? Who has been there? Who can you possibly rely upon and trust? For other’s, this could be WHAT can you rely upon and trust in? But, I am definitely seeing a very loyal friend coming in this month. Someone who is dedicated and devoted to you. I’m seeing an important “lover” become more to you. This is someone who you’re either very attracted to at the moment or a person who you’re involved with…. I’m seeing things go to the next level. Other’s are stuck between two people. Stability or follow the lure of Attraction. I feel like some of you have this person at a distance. Or you have been blocked from them. You could have been “blocked” from making this connection Real. The Loyalty comes from the person that has been in your life for a long time. Then you have the new person that you feel curious to figure out. How would things end up with this person? They are an uncharted path, after all. I feel as though a decision will be made in two weeks time, or this may occur within two weeks. This is a Second chance to get things right, whatever that means for you personally.

When it comes to the Tarot, You’re coming into December transitioning through a phase where you’ve experienced betrayal, hardships and quite possibly rock bottom of a situation. Some of you have been through a depressive time period in your life. I get this feeling as though you’re looking back on everything (some of you will get to this point if you haven’t yet) and seeing it for all it truly was. You’re sifting through friendships, relationships and situations that you’ve gone through; quite literally picking it apart piece by piece. Coming to a sincerely Raw realization that you will transition from this and let it go.

“Is suffering really necessary? Yes and no. If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. You would not be reading this now. Suffering cracks open the shell of ego, and then comes a point when it has served its purpose. Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Other’s see you as someone willing to compromise and make sacrifices for the good of all. At times, it’s necessary to do this; but other times, it leaves you vulnerable to be taken advantage of. Put your foot down. I’m seeing you communicating about the future with someone. You’re attempting to lay down foundations and put plans into place. I feel as though there are 3 people involved. Two people may be discussing you before you become aware of what is headed towards you. They are communicating about what part you’ll play in their own plan. You are also discussing another individual with someone. So, in essence, you’re being discussed about while you’re discussing someone as well. You both could be talking about each other at the same time and not even know about it. Then again, How could you know unless you’re there. In this card, there is an individual who has their back turned away from the two people, focused on their work. They have no idea what is going on behind them. You’re being “Checked out”, monitored, watched, discussed. Your “hidden” potential is coming to the surface to be revealed and seen. You’re being noticed for what you can do or for who you truly are.

I’m feeling a lack of freedom blocking you. You could feel internally that you have to do something a specific way, be a specific way, and thus your progression seems to stop. This could be caused by procrastination or a fear of failure. Which in actuality, it is the fear of failing that causes the procrastination. I feel as though you just want to BE and DO, like a child feeling so much freedom to dream their biggest dream and truly feel as though they could be/accomplish anything on earth! Then you have the “negative ones” come in and say things like, “Are you nuts?? That can’t happen! You can’t do that! Get back to reality and grow up.” Growing up has nothing to do with this dream of yours. 😉 Communicate as openly as possible and allow yourself to be who you truly are. Be mindful as well as grounded. You can do a personal inventory periodically to help achieve and to keep things on a solid footing.

Be honest with yourself and with other’s at this time. I’m seeing you making the necessary changes in a sneaky manner. Circumstances are causing you to become slightly dishonest, secretive, or you may be “shortchanging” others. You are attempting to achieve something at all costs. Let me just state that most of you don’t want to be this way and usually you wouldn’t, but it’s the circumstances that surround you. Maybe, you have too much to complete within a certain time period, too many clients, too many errands, too much paperwork. I’m seeing a small portion of you accidentally leaving something behind somewhere of value, so be careful to check everything you came with prior to leaving. Try not to Zip through things to get it done quicker. Mistakes will be made and could be found out. Make sure to close out all tabs on your computer. Log out. Clear history. Watch out for theft around you.

I’m seeing that patience is definitely a virtue here in your situation. You may feel as though you’ve been waiting for a reward, money, acknowledgment, even a message to come back to you for a long period of time. You may feel as though it will never come and it will leave you very frustrated and impatient. Don’t “drop the ball” before it arrives, because what you’re waiting on is coming. 3 weeks- 3 months, depending upon what it is. You’re tapping your foot, shaking your leg, shifting your body, you’re waiting so long. You’re actually growing through this phase. Utilize this time and plan for your future, instead of tapping your fingers and “watching the clock”. Figure out how you can expand what you’re doing instead. If it’s to deal with a business, for example, possibly expand this business internationally. Reach out to other’s in a different country.

What comes next IS the expansion of your goals and wishes. It’s whatever you’re waiting on. The Star tells you to Think Big, To dream your biggest dream, and to fill your thoughts with Positivity for what you desire. That is what will help this to move along. Remember to stay as grounded as possible once your wish is achieved.

*Side note…. I feel as though some of you will have issues with your foot, knee or ankle that should be looked at and taken care of.

Spirit animal Oracle:

Aquarius- Fish/ Stingray

Both are of the Water element. You could be dealing with a Water sign this month (Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio), Become more intuitive, more in touch with your own emotions– gaining control of them. Some of you may have Water as your ASC or Moon as well. What I am seeing with the Moon in the card of the Fish, is that the moon is waning. It’s moving in the direction of blackness instead of becoming Full. This is an excellent time to conduct a Banishing Ritual. Whoever and whatever you want to rid your life from. Fish can see in the dark/ through murky waters… knowing this you will begin to regain clarity into a situation, as well as be quite stealthy as you do this. I feel as though you are going on a search to figure something out, as well as an internal journey of your own. During this time your Chakra’s will become aligned. You will stand tall and proud, being enlightened, confident and strong. You’ll be able to “turn the page” of an issue. The Fish comes with the keywords: Restlessness, Change of Focus and Being Lost in the Current. You may be going through a period of being a nomad. They move from place to place with no care in the world of where they will end up nor of the consequences. It does not have to be literal. You could be jumping from one person to the next, not taking any of them seriously. You could be going from hobby to hobby trying out everything that peaks your interest. You will become fixated on one thing instantly as though it comes out of the blue. This is where I see as though your Chakra’s become aligned. Jolting you into position for your own goal, for your own mission. The Stingray comes with the Keywords: Developing Confidence, Sense of Self, Developing a “Spine”. Here comes your Backbone! No more being a Doormat for anyone!

Gemini- Hummingbird/Snake

I feel as though a lot of you are going in circles, being drawn back to something repeatedly. Or you could be “going in circles” in your head about a specific person or scenario… what to do? Should I? No, I shouldn’t, Maybe I should… Isn’t that always the story for the Gemini’s?? haha It’s as though you want to shake yourself and tell yourself to STOP ALREADY!! The Hummingbird is gentle and flutters excitedly. You may appear to be out of character lately to those around you. Going about your day in a randomized manner instead of a structured one. No one knows if you’re coming or going. They can’t seem to pin you down this way. I feel as though you long to get out of a box that you’ve been living in. You want things to change. You want to expand and broaden your horizons. You want to break free from your current circumstances — break free from your own mold. Now, I am wondering is this began back in March at some point. It was a seed planted in your mind at that time. Now you’re taking actions or will be on breaking free and figuring things out. The Hummingbird comes with the keywords of: Positive, Enthusiastic, Spiritually Resourceful. With this card, you’re on an exploration of your own. The Snake has forever spoken to me about Transformative behavior or circumstances. It’s also about Ancient wisdom. The Snake comes with the keywords of: Guardian of Unawakened Magic & Creative Potential. You’re attempting to reach your highest potential here.

Libra-Peacock/Spider –

The First thing that came to me was— Weaving a web of Desire and Attraction. Spiders transform their world’s with each piece of silk that they weave. Technically, they do this to catch prey. You have been doing this metaphorically in your own way over a period of time. You’re not catching “prey” so to speak, you’re catching whatever you desire. With each choice you make, each path you take, your own personal web forms. DNA. As I was writing the last sentence I heard the song, “I’ll be Watching you” by the Police. There is an indication of stalking here. Be careful. That’s not for all of you though. If it isn’t an individual, you could be watching something closely to see if and when it changes. Or you could be over analyzing something to the point of obsession. Let’s take this back to the beginning… I feel as though that you’ll be feeling pretty good about yourself and paying more attention to how you present yourself to other’s. A burst of energy has come back. People are noticing you more so or will be this month. It’s your energy — Such Positive and alluring energy that draw people to you. You’ll look good, feel amazing, and this will radiate outwards. It’s always at these times when not only positive energies are drawn to us, but Negative ones as well. This is when Haters come in, People will obsess over you, Drama begins… whatever you think of first, is what you’ll bring in. You have to protect your own energy field. The Peacock comes with the keywords: Inner Beauty, Compassion, Assimilator of Anything. This card speaks about inner beauty radiating outward. You’ll be able to digest any situation that you come across without it negatively effecting you. The Keywords for the Spider are: Creator of Prosperity through life’s work and Dharma. ” its greatest gift is weaving the thread of dharma into a vast intricate web that supports the spider both financially and spiritually.” Become process oriented rather than results oriented. Try not to become discouraged.

Saturn Return/ First House

Move Ahead With Confidence; You Are Rising.

The First house is the beginning. It represents WHO you are as an individual. Your Appearance, Your Personality, Your Strengths and Your Weaknesses. This is the Persona that you show to the world. It’s representative of your Ascendant Sign. You may have thought that your Sun Sign was the most important, but it is really your Ascendant that you should look to First, then your Sun. This is how people see you currently. When you are younger (Child to Young Adult) you mostly live by your Sun, But through trials and tribulations you merge to your Ascendant. That’s not to say that you’re nothing like your ascendant as you grow up, it is still there, underneath the surface; merging to the external from time to time. I feel as though you’re going back to something. You’re going back to the person you used to be a long time ago. The best parts of yourself; not the negative parts. The Saturn Return occurs every 29 years. Now, since I am not looking at your own personal chart, all I can say is that you may be reviewing the past two decades in your life. For some of you, You’re realizing that you want to make a specific goal or dream finally happen; You want to become more structured and responsible so that it has more of a chance to become real. Other’s are feeling as though their time in this life is nearing a close, and that they really need to just bite the bullet and go after what they want before they leave their physical bodies. It could be that you feel your Timing for something specific is almost up— For example, If you have never had a baby and you’re nearing 38-40-45, then you will feel pressured to get pregnant as soon as possible. I’m seeing an image of an hourglass.

You are now at a time when you understand things better than you did even a year ago. It is time to be brave and face this important passage. There are no quick fixes. Know what you can and cannot do. Take life in a measured way, much like this planet of time already does. Let go of your illusions for they do not serve you. You’re down to the brass tracks now— time to see what you’re made of.

-Susan Sheppard

37/52 Oracle of Visions

The First card always reminds me of us viewing all that we’ve been through. Flashes of those that have been in and out of our lives, experiences that we have gone through, Dreams that we have tried to achieve, Dreams we may have walked away from or felt as though it wasn’t time for. Now, when we pass on, our souls actually go through a viewing of our life. Our Souls judge ourselves. Did we achieve what we set out to achieve? Did we learn the lessons we wanted to learn? Did we make the best choices for us? Were we strong enough during the rough periods in our lives? This is kind of what you are doing. The first card comes with the keywords of: Relationships & Interaction with Others. For some of you, this is your main cause for concern and where you’re putting most of your focus on. For other’s this is just a small portion of what you are viewing and thinking about. The Second card speaks to me about taking charge in your life. It’s all on your own shoulders; only YOU are the ruler of your destiny. The card comes with the keywords of : Direction, Purpose, Objectives & Taking a First step. Which is what you are trying to do with the First House above. This card tells you to consider the reasons why, the options, the chosen direction and let your journey begin.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

-Henry David Thoreau

Have an Amazing December!!

Blessed Be to You and Yours!

RJ Worrell

Cancer, Pisces & Scorpio- December 2019 Tarot/Oracle Reading. Gaining Momentum.

Welcome to December, Water Signs! Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio. Here is your general reading. Be sure to catch your Rising and Moon Readings as well. You can head to Astro.com to figure out your ASC and Moon signs if you do not know yours.

The Lenormand shows a decision and a risk for you coming up; Backed by A new Beginning. I feel as though some of you are really getting down to the core of a specific tradition/ way of living/ something very important to your family or those that you surround yourself with. It could even be a work enviornment, if you’re a workaholic or your main focus is on your career. For other’s your main concern is a health issue that has been ongoing. I’m seeing you analyzing, researching and scrutinizing whatever this is. Your solution will be revealed if not found within a two time period- 2 weeks to 2 months. I’m feeling as though your main number is 2… with the clover, the crossroads, card 39 of “Dice”, as well as the Garden card (Bottom Right). With this knowledge… you’re going back and forth on what you want to do, pros and cons, deciding upon two people, places, scenarios. Should I do this or should I do that? I get a feeling that you’re inching forward… making some progress in one direction and then you stop. You could go backwards a bit as well. You know that once this decision is made it will be permanent. Or at the least that is your main goal. This is extremely important to you and you want to feel secure and certain. I’m seeing a meeting taking place with another to finalize the deal.

The Tarot shows that You’re Coming into December as someone who may have an issue when it comes to trust. Feeling cut off in some way. Either from a person, a decision or a group of people. You may be distancing yourself emotionally. Becoming unsympathetic and having zero tolerance for anything “less than” what you want and desire. Some of you may not be getting your way and this is causing you to become bitter. You want a new beginning and it is not happening. It could be delayed for some of you. But for other’s it seems to be taking a long time; and so you think it will never happen for you. I feel this energy of you getting your hopes up repeatedly just for them to be dashed. This new beginning is physical…. Money, Opportunity, any kind of solid foundation that can be built upon and last into the future. Again, there is this ability to trust surrounding this issue. You want to be certain of it’s security and value before proceeding. Some of you are Sick and tired of how you’re life is currently, and this may not be brought on by other people, but instead your current circumstances. You want change, and you want things to change NOW.

Other’s see you as someone on the verge of beginning something… a new life, a new job, a new relationship. But it is as though you are putting it off for the moment. I get this feeling like someone wants to push you because they are becoming impatient and frustrated. They may see you as someone who is ungrounded in some way, or one who cannot be counted upon. For most of you, they are wrong, not seeing you clearly. They aren’t inside of your head, after all. They don’t realize all of your minds work that you’ve been doing. Most of you haven’t been sharing what you’re contemplating and trying to figure out. If you’re not putting this new opportunity off, then it’s either timing that isn’t right or you haven’t found the opportunity just yet…. You’re still trying to “feel your way” for the right one. Or for the timing to feel right.

What could be blocking or delaying this new beginning is your wishful thinking. I feel as though some of you are looking ahead way too far into the future. Spending an enormous amount of time … “I’m going to have this and I’m going to have that. I’m going to feel this way about that.” You are basically thinking about all of your dreams coming true. But you’re not taking much action towards making them happen. Some of you “want your cake and eat it too”. Wanting some things that you just cannot simply have. Especially, if others are involved.

I’m being told that one way that is required of you in order to get over this is to “Get real”. My guides are very blunt. You must stop all of the daydreaming, wishful thinking, cut it out and become focused on a goal that can become a reality… you also need to take action at this time and to communicate your desires. Some of you may need to do this very quickly, cutting things out that are not needed or that can’t possibly be relied upon. This could be a person or group of people for some of you. There may be a sense of feeling uncomfortable and this could be why you are holding back. There could be seething resentment that you are holding back or holding onto. You have to become as diplomatic as possible. Rushing forth to tackle problems. Make sure to have all of the information first before communicating. You don’t want to “put your foot in your mouth”.

What is required of you internally, is for you to overcome boundaries. I don’t know why I am being told that. Maybe you do. Some of you lack the courage to forge ahead. Other’s can’t help themselves, and become dominating at times when they fear as though they won’t get what they want. This is about persevering over the long term, gaining a Great Will during such a trying time in order to get what you desire. Patience… build more of it. For a lot of you, what you want isn’t easy to get. At times, you may give up and think about whether you should just drop it and walk away for good. Just a bit longer…. Just a bit longer… goes your thoughts. How much more can you possibly take? Plenty, actually. You’ve become stronger than you realize over a period of time. All through this frustration, anger, possible sadness, of not getting your way… You’ve been growing and changing inside. This leads you to becoming much more confident as an individual, not being so stuck in an Ego driven state.

The World has a message for you; the message tells you that you can overcome this. You’re watching time go on, days, weeks, months, possibly years pass by, and you’re in a comparison mode. What you need to realize and acknowledge is that all of the decisions that you have made up to this point are actually putting you on the path that you’re meant to take. No matter how confused or conflicted you may have been. Completion of your goals are just around the corner. You’re in a mode of preparation heading towards a final conclusion.

Your outcome shows you as being Victorious. Because of all the work you’ve put in yourself, this will be a very proud moment for you! Stand tall, even if other’s have negative things to say or gossip to spread, just focus on yourself and your accomplishments. There will always be haters… and the Haters actually need to hold up their own mirror. Let them drop away like withering flies as you celebrate your success! I do get this feeling that you’re being led into an “unknown” of some type. Mostly, by a guide of yours. Only a small few are being led by an actual person around you. If it’s a person, be mindful of what they say and do. I get a feeling that they have their own plans in the long run. ( Manipulative behavior)

Adds to 33; which is a master number involving teaching, 6 is the lovers- A major lesson involving choice- 6 harmonizing and Balancing, with the Page is a total of 7- A message foretelling that you will have the opportunity to solidify something, but it will take going through a bit of an obstacle course to get to your goal. The 7 relates to the Chariot, but is also a very spiritual number- Wisdom earned through experiences.

[̲̅Y][̲̅o][̲̅u][̲̅r] [̲̅S][̲̅p][̲̅i][̲̅r][̲̅i][̲̅t] [̲̅A][̲̅n][̲̅i][̲̅m][̲̅a][̲̅l]

Cancer- Camel/Octopus

The first thing I think about when it comes to a camel is how they fill up with food and water to last months. It’s about preparation. Most of you are “saving up/ stocking up” in some way for the future. Some of you may feel as though hard times are coming. Winter is definitely coming for those in the northern hemisphere, but there is something you are prepping for…. Getting ready for… A goal you’re working towards. The octopus appears to be grappling at something, attempting to take anything and everything it can. This kind of carries the same energy as the camel. With the Octopus comes the keywords: Reaching, Yearning, Lacking boundries and direction. You feel the need to “secure” something for the future. This could derive from an internal feeling of uncertainty, or externally, you’re watching something in your life changing over a period of time, and you feel the need to establish a permanent state of safety. I do feel as though you’re doing this is a calm manner, what’s going on underneath the surface could tell a different tale.

Pisces- Cosmic egg/ Wolf

This feels as though you are transforming into who you really are. Bringing out a side of yourself that you may have kept hidden within this cosmic egg. There is this Primal and protective side to you. Some of you are literally protecting this “Egg” or what is inside of it. Protecting your creation. When it comes to the Cosmic Egg, it brings with it a sense of harmony and completion. It relates to the World card in the Tarot to me. This speaks about a great unfolding within your life at this time. It is extremely transformative. It also causes you to transform as well along with it. At times, you may feel disconnected with those around you as you navigate your way. You may find yourself wanting to change certain habits of yours that relates to judgmental characteristics brought on upon by Generations. The Wolf is the Guardian of the Family & Tribe. How will you choose to rule?

Scorpio- Vulture/ Otter

The Vulture Sees the whole picture, as the Otter just sees what rests on the ground. The Otter is very grounded themselves. I feel as though the Vulture does the “dirty work”, as the Otter builds the foundations. You may be doing the “dirty work” currently to be able to begin putting down your own foundations. There is a goal you are working towards. I’m hearing, “Gathering nuts”. So, this is just the beginning phases that you’re in. If you’re working together with another then one of you is the Vulture, while the other is the otter. I definitely feel like you’re “building up to something”. You could be just “up to no good”… 😉 jk, or am I? I do truly feel as though that once you see the bigger picture things will become more clear in order to progress forward with your plan.

Bʅαƈƙ M00ɳ Oɾαƈʅҽ

Three Things Cannot Be Long Hidden:

The Sun, The Moon, And The Truth

 Lunar Eclipse/ Sagittarius- We just had the New moon in Sagittarius on the 28th of November, and since the Lunar Eclipse brings in Change — This is the message. It repeats itself below in the Oracle of Visions. I plan to focus more on Astrology next year, but will still pull tarot at times. I digress, This New Moon Energy brought in the Inspiration needed to make a much needed change.  It ignited a New direction in your life. Sagittarius belongs to the element of Fire and we’re currently in Sagittarius Season. Many of your fellow Sagittarians’ are celebrating their birthdays. So, the timeline for what you’re going through is NOW. During this time you are being lured to speak your truth on a matter. Don’t be surprised if what you say appears to shock others. They may not be used to such bluntness coming from you. Or they won’t be familiar with your thoughts and feelings on a particular subject. It will seem like it comes out of the blue to them. I feel as though you’ve been holding onto a secret for a while and now you can no longer hold this inside and must get it out regardless of the consequences. You may feel extremely restless until you take action. Even upon taking action you could feel restless about the time it takes to get things moving further along after the revelation. Give this a timeline of 6 weeks.

Oracle of Visions

Oracle of Visions: 18/5— Both of these say to me “New Beginning”… We have a Birth and Change/Movement. This could be literal for some of you. 🙂 It’s about damn time, right?! The first card represents a nurturing aspect. Either you are nurturing a new creation or you’re being nurtured by another. This is a desire to protect and to provide a sense of direction. There is an energy of personal growth surrounding this. Here we have Preparation, Being Informed, as well as seeking advice. This leads the Water signs to Change and movement. I love that this card is the Number 5- five is about Change and freedom, but it also comes with a challenge to this change. When it comes to the number 5, I have noticed that the challenge mostly deals with other people in your life. It could be that they are purposely throwing obstacles in your path due to being in disagreement with what you’re trying to accomplish. It could also be due to how a specific group lives via morals, traditions, as well as what they choose to sacrifice. This doesn’t sit well with you. It is not who you truly are. You want to set yourself apart from this and live by your own rules; make your own traditions. The Number 5 card speaks about taking the next step; of taking a leap of faith. So, here we have the gamble and the risk factor. I will leave you with this quote:

Twenty years from now you will be more

disappointed by the things you didn’t do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe

harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

-H. Jackson Brown

May you all have a Wonderful December!!

Blessed Be to You and Yours!

RJ Worrell

Weekly Energy through Channeling and Tarot

🌙 Continuation of Energy….

Whoever has been continually taking from you- your emotions draining, your mental state waning, your time, your energy, your finances, they’ve been taking, taking, taking for so long… you’ll put an end to it. 

For some of you, this person is one who likes to be in control. Wants to make all of the decisions. Wants others to live by their own rules or their own way. They may make a fuss when you try to do things your own way. I’m getting from this 10 of swords card that you have absolutely had enough! Some of you may get out of this in a cheeky kind of way. A way in which you’re not completely hiding that you are going to do as you want but you won’t fully show what you’re doing.

For some of you, there is a complete ending to a family tie, or you will walk away from a group of people that you have been involved with. This could be a group of friends, a networking group, a group that you belong to on social media, you may have even ran this group and now you don’t want to run it anymore (You’ll pass over the reigns to someone else).

I’m seeing some of you going to an individual for advice on how to get out of a sticky situation, and they are telling you that you need to be very careful about the steps that you take. Planning everything in a strategic way. Maybe so you possibly won’t have any consequences. I’m also seeing running away for some of you, possibly hiding your identity.

With the Hierophant we have change happening this week, also with the 10 we have an ending, and with the seven we have personal challenges. You will become like the queen of wands, personal growth when it comes to courage, and with what you do may inspire many to do the same. On the other hand, those that don’t have the courage to change may disagree with what you do.

There is a Change in the dynamics of a family, relationship or group. What once looked good on the surface will be revealed for what it truly is secrets-come to light what has been held back will be stated in a matter of fact kind of way. 

Situate a new state of being.

The message that I posted last week is on going at this time as well. Energy does not change so quickly, but may merge into another.

Blessed Be to You and Yours! 🖤

♾ RJ

My Alcoholism/Recovery Story.

Hello! My name is RJ and I am a recovering Alcoholic.

I never in my life thought that I would be the one saying that phrase. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic parent. I didn’t know he was an “alcoholic”, I just thought he loved to drink. I was only 9 years old when he went away to rehab. It was a chaotic swirl of confusion, sadness and anger. I had no idea what was happening. All I knew was that I felt abandoned. I still had my Mother, as well as my 5 older siblings. But it was like a chunk of my heart was taken away in an instant. You need to understand that back in the 80’s the internet did not exist, nor did I have people discussing addiction around me. I think it was Taboo. He was gone for about two years and I was pretty much left to my own devices. My mother would tell my siblings to watch me, but they were teenagers and didn’t care much to babysit. At times, I would be up the block at my friends house, who’s father was like my second Dad. Other times, I would be walking the neighborhood in search of things to do with my time. I later came to find out that my “Second Dad” was actually my Adoptive Father in a previous lifetime. A tale for another day!

I never enjoyed the taste of alcohol, yet, if there was a wedding I would end up drunk. I ended up drunk at my sister N’s wedding when I was 16. Then ended up drunk at my sister D’s wedding when I was 18. My parent’s kept telling me that I had the red flags as a child. They would find me passed out with a bottle of perfume or cologne next to me (a story my mother has told me a few times) as a young child/ toddler. I never understood why I would go “Sniffing around” for alcohol. I came to realize that the bottles I would find resembled my father’s whiskey bottles and I was merely mimicking what I saw. I will be honest and state that I don’t remember much of my childhood. I wish I could. The reason why I wish I could is so that it would help me to heal certain parts of myself. 

As a young adult, my best friend would try to get me to drink sometimes. I remember one time we made plans and she asked me, “You are going to drink though, right???” She wasn’t peer pressuring me, she just didn’t want to waste money and “party” alone. Most of the time, I’d end up taking 3 sips and quit. I just couldn’t stand the taste!! But, if we were out and about, especially at Ybor City, I was getting drunk! It was definitely party time then! See image below… Me partying at Coyote ugly in Ybor City,,, dancing on the bar, getting the crowd excited. The drunk me was pretty fun. Though the Fun didn’t last for long. Each time I would stop and go back, my drinking progressed.

RJ 26 in Ybor City, Fl

I was a mother of three at this point. I became a Mother at 20 years old. This was a rare night out for me. And because I didn’t get out much, the LION came out to play every single time!

I was about 29 years old when I truly began my “drinking career”.  I say that it was a career since I’d spend as much time drinking as one would working (eventually).  I would stop for a while, but when I would go back to drinking I would consume more than I would have previously.  That is what is called progression of the disease.  Each time I would go back, it would just get worse. 

2012 was the worse year yet for my drinking. During 2012, I felt that I had a problem and I analyzed it from every angle, even as I poured myself more. I ended up feeling like a crazy philosopher, especially during the midnight hour. Constantly in drunken analysis. I thought that there wasn’t much of an issue because I had been able to stop drinking while I was pregnant with my 4th child in 2010. I stayed away from alcohol up until he was about a year and a half old. Then, I once again, slowly progressed into full time drinking. I also analyzed the fact that even when I did drink he never got hurt, he was always fed, he was always in a clean diaper, he was well taken care of. I analyzed the fact that I didn’t act like my father had. Most of the issues surrounded myself. I didn’t hurt my kids, I didn’t hurt their father. I didn’t see that I was hurting myself. And even if I was, I felt that that was better than hurting someone else. It still didn’t seem good enough! I even went as far as to ask my father if he thought I had a problem, to which he replied, “I don’t know. Do you?”

In the fall of 2012, I sought out a psychiatrist to help me with my accumulating anxieties. Not realizing then that it was because of my hard core drinking that I had come to experience all of these issues. One of the red flags should have been the fact that I would not drink before my appointments, nor did I divulge to him that I drank often. I was keeping that as my dirty little secret. He prescribed me Xanax and Nothing of substance was discussed during my visits. I stayed away from drinking for the first month knowing that combining Xanax with alcohol was a Huge NO NO. One visit before Thanksgiving, as we were saying goodbye in his office he asked me what I was doing for the holiday, then said to “have a drink, have some fun with your family”. I must have shown my confusion on my face. He then said it was OK to have one drink. Little did he know I was an alcoholic and one drink??? Not happening! No matter how hard I wished I could do that. The whole point of drinking was to escape reality for me. I wish I could drink one or two just to feel relaxed, but that’s not how my brain chemistry works. That’s not how addiction works. In my mind, because this is part of the disease, that since a psychiatrist told me it was ok, even knowing he didn’t know of my addiction, then it must be ok. I was given the green light to indulge. My Wise mind knew differently, but the devil inside said “LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!”

Cue in the Black outs…. I don’t remember much from that Thanksgiving. Though I have pictures to look back on. It was after combining Xanax with Alcohol that I began experiencing continuous blackouts. Which should have been an obvious given the fact that we’re always told not to drink on certain medications. I’m the type of person who wants the details… the reasons why before I decide my own fate. You can’t tell me not to do something just because I shouldn’t. You can’t even tell me not to do something because it could kill me. I’m reckless. I need to understand the details, the deeper meanings, I need to figure it out myself.

Growing up I was scared of drugs. Terrified!! I would become livid if my friends even smoked marijuana. I was like a parent to my friends. I would take whatever they had and flush it down the toilet instantly. They eventually would try to hide the fact that they did them from me. I was oblivious when it came to drugs and what would happen to someone on them. All I knew, was that the energy of them were negative to me. I have never to this day tried LSD, Cocaine, Heroin, Meth, Crack… but I have tried Marijuana and it was pretty damn relaxing. Marijuana is the only “drug” that doesn’t scare me. The thing is… the deeper reason why I was scared. I would most likely be dead right now. I know and understand that today; but my Soul self understood that since birth. The irony of it all is that I learned in rehab that alcohol was a hard core drug and Xanax was a pill form of alcohol. Two mind fucks, right there. I actually felt stupid for not knowing this already. I despise feeling that way more than anything else, since I’m ridiculously over critical of myself. Intelligence means more to me than any other aspect a human could possibly have. That is what intrigues and amuses me. I spent half of my life deep within the universe in intense study about Souls, Spirits, Lessons, Magic, the misunderstood, the unbelievable.. etc.. I’m now learning all of the things that most people pay attention to their whole lives. The external aspects of the human body and such. I’m hoping to reach pure mastery by the time I’m in my 60’s.

One night in early 2013, I vaguely remember texting my parents, ” I need help.” My memory goes in and out. When one is in a blackout their brain does not record what is happening or said. There are many bits and pieces missing that I will never get back. The next morning a woman from a rehab called me. I did NOT want to take the call. I almost hung up on her. That’s the fear taking hold that happens to every person in addiction. You’re afraid to stop, but you also know that if you continue you will surely die. I agreed and made the arrangements to go into rehab. I knew that I did not want to continue this cycle in my life no matter how scared I was. What I knew was that every morning I was confronted with what I had written to a person I cared about tremendously or had posted on social media. Both were either extremely embarrassing or hurtful. It was so bad that I would grab the bottle and begin drinking again to forget about what I had done. The next morning… same thing. The morning after that… same thing. This cycle continued for months and months.  Eventually, I would have tears rolling down my face as I poured myself more. I wanted this insanity to STOP!!! Only I could stop it. I just didn’t know how. When you’re deep in addiction you feel as though someone else is controlling you.

There is a reoccurring debate about whether or not addiction is a choice or a disease. Initially, it begins as a choice for everyone on this planet. You do not know what you will become addicted to. Not every single person has the same brain chemistry or genetic makeup. We are humans, not robots. Basically, every single person has an addiction of some type. Some binge watch Netflix instead of cleaning or watching their children. Some become addicted to exercising. Others become addicted to Food. The ones who get ridiculed the most are the ones that become addicted to a substance. Where as the other addictions do not change the way in which an individual speaks, thinks, reacts, or live their daily lives, substance abuse is more prominent and can easily be seen by all. Like I stated prior, I hated the taste of alcohol. I never in my life expected for THAT of all things to take control of me. It eventually did and became something I turned to for every reason under the sun.

The day before I entered into rehab I decided that I would not drink. Even though the woman on the phone had told me not to stop drinking until I got there. I didn’t understand her. She was the first person ever to tell me NOT to stop. Later realizing that if one goes “cold turkey” they could end up having seizures or die. I felt So low and kind of numb. I felt it was very important that the last day before I went away my kids not see me drunk. It wasn’t easy, I’ll tell you that much. It was already extremely emotional and confusing enough and I wasn’t going to take that away by drinking. It’s definitely not something I could have done daily. I already felt bad that I was at this point and that my children had to witness and experience their own mother going away to rehab, like I had at 9 years old with my own father. How the hell did it get to this point?!? This was never supposed to happen. This was never supposed to be my life.

I kissed the kids Goodbye before they went to school. One of my daughters, who was only 12 at the time didn’t want me to leave. She begged and pleaded. I told her I had to go and that she would understand later on. The car pulled up to take me. I took a deep breath and tried to hold back my tears. I had so much going through my head. I thought about changing my mind, then quickly told myself that wasn’t an option. On my ride there, the man would speak with me periodically to try and make me feel more comfortable. He asked me halfway through the ride if I wanted to stop off somewhere at a store. I confusingly answered, “No… why?”. He replied that sometimes patients want to get their last drink in upon arrival. I thought that was so strange!!! Why was that even an option when you’re going away to get help? Apparently, many people do this on their way to rehab. I just wanted to be done with the drinking. That is what they refer to as being “Sick and tired.” Looking back, I was most likely shaking tremendously and didn’t even notice. But he sure did! He was probably worried I would go into some type of failure before even getting there.

I pulled up. He took out my bags. As I walked through the front doors I felt my whole existence relax. I actually felt myself let go and allow the universe to take over. I gave up the fight. This was it. This needed to be done. It felt as though an evil entity flew out of my body leaving me to myself; As though walking through those doors repelled whatever it was. I’m extremely sensitive and Empathic. I have all of the gifts, so I can feel things that most others cannot. I can see things and hear things that many cannot. Trying to explain my experiences hasn’t been easy, since most of the ones that surround me don’t understand. I’m not religious and I wasn’t possessed. Just putting that out there. I would know if that was the case. Whatever this was that loved to hang around me realized that I was serious and that I wouldn’t allow anything to control me any longer.

My 3rd night was the most life changing experience to date. I was obviously going through PAWS (Post-Acute withdrawal symptoms). Though no one in there told me that was what was happening to me. They would check me daily in the morning around 6:30 am. Making me stick out my tongue and hold out my hands. They were scoring my trembles that I couldn’t even see I was having. I saw her mark me a 10. And I looked at her, “Seriously?!? Why can’t I see that?” Being very observant I am in awe when I don’t notice something myself. But no one in addiction sees or thinks clearly. Early in the day I couldn’t help but to notice this one patient. I normally paid attention to no one as importance rested upon what I would learn and not on others there. He was twitching and his tongue wouldn’t stop sticking out. I instantly recalled my own father doing this as he napped. I had forgotten all about that. Throughout that day where ever I would go, there was this man. A constant but gentle reminder to trigger old memories. It was his triggering that began my own spiritual awakening to go back in time to my childhood that night. My thumbs began to twitch uncontrollably, and my eyes welled with tears because it truly validated that I did indeed have a problem.

I started to experience hallucinations. I had never hallucinated before. I was laying in my bed watching images being drawn on the wall before me. It was a kids drawing. First they created a stick figure girl, then a boy, a sun, a house, a tree… at this point one of my roommates walked in and glanced at me, as I was watching a dog forming along with the images. She asked me what I was doing just staring at the wall. I then asked her if she could see the images. She couldn’t. I then looked at her and closed my eyes asking her if bright sunlight was streaming through the windows, since my eyelids were a gleaming color of gold. This specific roommate didn’t require detox as she had nothing in her system upon arrival. She just laughed and told me no. It happened every time I’d close my eyes. I couldn’t stop the images either.

I am an individual that cannot sleep in silence. I need the sound of a fan running. A fan was not an option there. I wasn’t allowed to bring one, nor did they have one. I had asked about it to a counselor and she told me that many ask for them but all she had were meditation tapes. Reluctantly, I took a recorder and headphone set from her. That night I placed the headphones over my ears. I kept attempting to fall asleep but I could not. I kept seeing images over and over again that would make me snap open my eyes because I didn’t want to see them. By the third loop of the meditation I heard a woman’s voice as though she was standing right next to me say, “I’m so proud of you, RJ.” I snapped open my eyes to see who it was and threw off my headphones. Looking around quickly all I saw was darkness and my 3 roommates sleeping. I closed my eyes again.

The image that appeared next was a white lotus flower, floating ever so slowly down a stream. It calmed me, it made me feel relaxed. I welcomed and “followed” it. I then felt as though I was pulled to my past, my childhood, back inside of that house. I turned around quickly and was greeted with a brick wall. I was stuck! I couldn’t go back! I can’t recall full details of what I witnessed, because apparently it was so traumatizing that after a couple days I blocked it all over again. What I do remember is that I went inside of each of my siblings, my mother and my father. I felt their feelings, I heard their thoughts. Every 10 to 20 minutes I was either silently begging God to let me out, to PLEASE not let me experience anymore, or I had to hold in my gasps, my cries, and my shouts so that I didn’t wake up my roommates. It felt like pure torture. I felt like I was strapped to a chair and forced to watch everything going on. I could see myself as a little girl. I was a bystander that no one else saw in the house. Knowing one of my first gifts ever was to interact with spirits and energies, I do wonder that if time travel does exist if I actually saw my future self as a little girl. But I digress… One of the main images that will forever stick in my mind is my father’s face when he would look at me. He always looked at me in a certain way. He always tried to protect me for his own reasons. I know the bigger picture as to why I was protected now. I used to joke about if I was abused I’d probably be a serial killer. (I have morbid humor and make jokes about my painful experiences.) Well, that was validated when I began learning Birth charting. I have a violent placement. When one has a violent placement and they are abused…. I don’t even have to finish that sentence. Our birth placements are a snapshot of what we are born to experience, but just like when reading Tarot cards for the future, we can choose different paths or circumstance’s can change for us. Close call, I say!!! 😉 This state of being stuck lasted for 7 hours. I eventually had to give up once again and just allow whatever to come.

It was Bringing me to Enlightenment of my past and the core issue :
“The white lotus flower sits at a stage between the Pink and Blue Lotus, and is associated with the state of bodhi; that of becoming awakened to the wonders of it all.
When one reaches this state it is said that one has mental purity and has reached a state of spiritual perfection.” -Dean Ravenscroft

The next morning I felt elated!! I was tired as hell, having not slept for 48 hours at that point. I was running around telling anyone I could about what I experienced the night prior. I then began feeling as though someone was taking blood from my arms. You know what it feels like when you have an IV inserted when you have your blood taken. The way the skin gets tugged at. This went on for several hours. I told the nurses about this. Then I started seeing snakes with their tongues in my veins. The Normies would freak out about this, but me understanding symbolism since I was a child knew that Snakes meant Transformation and that the tongues were taking the poison from my veins. I was still in detox after all. I always say that If I could redo that night once a year that would always “keep it green” for me! It would help everyone honestly! I know that certain doctors are now testing hallucinogens for quitting smoking and such. Based upon my experience I fully believe it would work! I’m not certain when it will become widely available yet. Smokers, Keep your eyes peeled.

My first year sober I stopped reading Tarot. I needed to conserve my energy as much as I could. I went to a few meetings here and there. I liked going to meet the people and hear their stories. But, it used to bother me that every time I would go I would want to drink. I didn’t understand that. Plus, the only option I knew of and was given was to attend these meetings. I know that they have helped SO many people. My own father was heavily involved for 15 years. It was scary making the decision not to go anymore. But it felt like I was being mind fucked. I couldn’t explain that to anyone. Even if I tried to they would just tell me that I HAD to go! Yes, I’m speaking about A.A.. I already am a very spiritual person and what I practice seems almost like A.A.. Only, I practice from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. It is my life. My entire existence. I remember at one meeting I really liked this woman who was telling her story and so I went to speak to her afterwards about possibly becoming my sponsor. She had way too many rules in order for me to be sponsored. Gave me a list of what I needed to do. I have always lived within energy, energy shifts, changes… feeling when I should and shouldn’t do things. There was a huge red flag. My sponsor was and has always been God. Buddha. Allah. Doorknob. It doesn’t matter. This miraculous and amazing energy is all the same thing. I call it, the Universe. Sometimes, I call it God, since most of the people I surround myself with refer to it as such. I became very productive in two things I hated with the passion… Cleaning and cooking. It’s very funny what chooses you to become productive in when you allow it instead of forcing it. It just may be the things you don’t like the most that save your LIFE. You could have shown up at my house at any given time and ate off the floors. I vacuumed about 6 times a day, dusted constantly, if a utensil was placed in the sink it would be cleaned immediately. I barely ever sat down.

One main thing is that you must remain physically productive as much as you were drinking or using. Well, mine was from the time I woke up until I went to bed. To tell you I was exhausted by 8pm is an understatement. I went right to sleep for the first time in my life. You also must redirect your focus. If I was watching a movie or a TV show that had partying or drinking in it and I felt my emotions change, I would instantly turn off the television and go clean. The Great Gatsby… Man, I loved that movie and I sure as hell wanted to join in! Click. Off you go!!  I barely listened to music my first year sober. Music was my first DOC (Drug of choice). I knew it would trigger me BIG TIME. It wasn’t easy not listening to music, but my sobriety was of great importance. Any time I felt sad or negative I would purposely seek out humor. Comedians are a life saver. I notice a lot of them also make fun of their pain. Kevin Hart even titled his latest show “Laugh at my pain.” Robin Williams is another big name that chose being a comedian to deal with his own issues. I don’t understand people who live in negativity. Especially those that aren’t in recovery and choose to bitch and complain about a raindrop. Life isn’t that hard. Practice being grateful and mindful instead.

Around May of 2015 I began my Instagram. It was initially titled for my last child. I had forgotten about it and never utilized it to post pictures of him. Every day I would post a card and write about it to help my brain heal. Drinking excessively causes so much damage to your brain and organs. Luckily, My organs were still well functioning. At first, I was very frustrated because I had read intuitively for years and I couldn’t even remember the technical meanings of the cards. I did well, but couldn’t read like I used to. My guides saw me frustrated for 7 months.

I finally asked my cards where my gifts went. I had pulled this exact Page of Wands. I heard “They are right here. We are holding onto them for you.” Prior to getting sober I renounced my gifts wanting to be normal SO BADLY. All I had to do was ask for them back. Do you realize how annoyed I was that they saw me struggling for that long and all I had to do was ask for them back?? I guess in a drunken fury I had specifically stated that I had to ask for them back. Like I would remember that. The strange things that one does when they are drunk. I did even stranger things in a blackout. One month after coming out of rehab as I was going through my drawers I came across a sealed envelope that had “Will” written on it. I opened it to see a letter I had written in a blackout. Listing my prized possessions and who they would go to. I did not remember writing this. The crazy thing is that I obviously knew I was close to death. I was told that if I wouldn’t have gone to rehab when I did I would have died that year. By the time I entered into rehab I was a 110 lb woman consuming about 750L of Captain Morgan’s a day, plus a whole bottle of red wine. If I were to relapse I would automatically go to consume that much now, and since my body is no longer used to it…. Can we say death?

I have no desire to drink. My obsession left me after my 2nd year sober. Many go their whole lives obsessing over their addiction. I’m not special. I just worked my sobriety differently. I just knew what to do. I allowed God and my guides to help me. Plus, that 3rd night… it really did a number on my Soul. I remember by the end of that night is when I heard “the 12th step is when you die sober.” I had done all 12 steps energetically that night. I saw myself staring at my grave. And yet I was alive. I am still alive celebrating 6 years later today (4/23/2013 my sobriety date). And now I have written my story. There are so many things I could have implemented into my story of recovery, but I was not trying to turn this into a book.

Sobriety can be achieved. It’s in the way you work it. It’s in the way of importance that you place upon it. It’s within your own discipline. Within your own Deeper understanding of yourself and what brought you to this place. Remember how it made you feel at your worst ALWAYS and you will never want to go back! Addiction Sucks!! It becomes a disease that you unknowingly choose in the beginning. But NO ONE chooses this entrapment. So many need to educate themselves on addiction and stop being so ignorant. I see this constantly on social media. Every one has an addiction, Some are harder to hide than others. Don’t be so judgmental. You’re all being watched.

Believe in yourself. DO what you need to do to get yourself out of that black hole. You know damn well that you don’t want to be stuck there. It’s time to beat the shit out of your addiction like it is a bully trying to keep you down in life. Because that’s all it is. Something that doesn’t deserve your time. Don’t allow it to control you… You control IT.

Blessed Be to You and Yours!

Thank you for Reading my Story.

RJ Worrell

Ps… The Woman who told me she was proud of me but could not be seen is one of my main guides. She was in a few dreams over the past couple of years, giving me information or just being there. She is in charge of my dreams, my past life journeying and was my Aunt in a previous lifetime.



Libra Full Moon April 19th

Full Moon Libra April 19, 2019

Let thy Justice Be Done!

What have you initiated and what is drawing to a close in your life? What kind of adjustments have you made in your life?  Since the last full Moon in Libra on March 20th, many of us have been through some major shifts and changes. With a bit of heavy, foggy energy, then a speeding up of energy, then back to the grind. It’s been pretty tumultuous for us!!! Endings had to be made, beginnings had to be initiated, and now where do we stand on this next phase in our life? If you have not began to initiate and act accordingly the energy may become tough for you in the coming months.

There was a need to seek balance. Some of you had to make adjustments when it came to your lifestyle. Either between your own needs and the needs of others, Between work and a social/family life, within your career and what you wanted to focus on and present, within your health, as well as your relationships.  I’m noticing that there may have been frustration when it comes to a workable combination, due to the fact that you may have been bouncing back and forth in between extremes. Not being able to make up your mind when it comes to sticking to one thing, or sticking to one decision. And, there has been some pretty heavy decisions to be made. This requires one to detach emotionally in order to weigh the pros and cons, Or else you will keep yourself in a cycle of confusion.

Libra Merging to Scorpio

There is tension escalating, as we are right on the verge of Libra going into Scorpio. Libra Balances and Scorpio Transforms. The energy has been as though we are climbing up a roller coaster and once we move into Scorpio the energy takes off like a bat out of hell. We will then have to tend to keeping on course! Not allowing obstacles to prevent us from moving forward or within this energy- Veering off the track! We Definitely do not need some type of “Final Destination” scenario occurring, but what isn’t truly meant for us will surely announce that it’s the wrong path. Hopefully, at this point you have gotten most of your ducks in a row and have your plans in hand. There will be Shocks and Surprises to come and you will want to be prepared! Do not give up if and when you encounter issues, become stimulated by them. Use the energy to conquer and get things done! Moderation and being patient with others when required will help to keep things from blowing out of proportion.

There could be conflicts with close family members at this time that need to be resolved. You may notice that your loved ones become much more emotionally demanding than usual. They may feel as though they have been “wronged” somehow or you may feel this way as well. There is a deep desire to DO something about it. This can cause a radically unexpected change with them and within the circumstances. For many, I am seeing something to do with contracts or papers. You are either handing them over or receiving them. Some of you are inquiring in a dominant way about said papers or contracts. Not backing down. This will have a profound impact on your personal life. What has been hidden and waiting is being revealed.

Many of you will have this strong sense of self-control. You will begin to feel (if you haven’t yet) very ambitious about your desires. Being on the verge of transformative Scorpio you seek deep change in your circumstances. Mostly, within your relationships, connections, and finally achieving the peaceful balance to move into your next level of success. Definitely, allow yourself to immerse into your emotions, but keep steady on the surface. Get ready for the Transformative Energy to come!

Blessed Be to You and Yours!

RJ Worrell


April 2019 / Air Elemental Readings

Image by Philip Carr- Gomm

Welcome to April, Air Signs!! This month I conducted a Collective Elemental Read, then conducted readings per sign. Be Sure to check out your Rising and Moon Signs. For those that are interested in my Personal Experiences and getting to know all about me, I posted my First blog titled “Spirituality… it’s seriously not a trend” Snoop around and Ye shall find! 😉 Now on with the show!

Collectively: You guys are in serious need of support. During this time, some of you have been going through a slow process of healing. Others, have been going through a phase of trial and error. Unanimously, you require help. You may be unrealistic when it comes to what you expect. The happiness that you deserve is being delayed and/or blocked at this time due to current conditions. For some of you, This delay is actually being caused by your lack of action. Though I do see that you will be (if you haven’t yet) taking the steps to seek justice. Most of you may even seek out a lawyer or someone who can help you to make this change that you’re desiring. You are best off by not fighting, by not engaging in a petty and childish situation where no one wins. Walk away. Find a different solution. I’m seeing you struggling to change the course of events or you having no control over the outcome. Releasing control is hard for you. You are being told to stand your ground, defend yourself and your beliefs well. Stay strong and firm… Do not allow anyone to rattle you.

Aquarius- I KNOW

Aquarius-You guys have been going through a long, slow process. You actually received a few of the same cards as the collective did. You’ve been working through some very heavy emotions and thoughts and trying to come up with a solution. You’re going through a healing phase. This cannot be rushed. This is the type of phase that MUST be worked through in it’s entirety. And you will just feel and KNOW when the phase is over. It’s as though you are moving through a thick fog. Some of you are dabbling in alcohol and possibly drugs at this time. That’s how heavy this energy is that you feel the need to turn to something to try to take the edge off or to numb you for the time being. This is not for all of you. You will not stay in this place either… As I see that in April, that you will make changes to get you out of this situation. You will make the decision to leave behind negative forces… I’m seeing that this is being brought on by other people. You want to be treated better than you have been. You’re becoming much braver through this process. You need to leave the arguing behind. The power struggles get you nowhere. You need to reach out to someone who can help you. If you do, I’m seeing you coming out of this fog, thinking clearly, seeing clearly… You will be so very proud of yourself!! Your soul connection is waiting.

Gemini- I THINK

Gemini- I’m hearing, “Fun time’s OVER!”… It’s YOU thinking this, and saying this about other people. You’re sick of it! You’ve had enough! You’re at the point of getting ready to explode, if you haven’t yet. I’m seeing you being cautious and feeling as though you have to watch what other people are doing. You don’t trust them. It’s very exhausting!! In the past, I’m seeing you feeling as though someone has DESTROYED something of yours, could be literally physical items, or your own happiness… you may have been deceived by someone or betrayed. Well, no longer!! You’re taking matters into your own hands like a BOSS! 😉 You have nothing to fear. You will feel as though you have changed through the night. Hitting the lowest of the low has caused you to shift, from someone who felt hopeless to someone that feels strong and powerful. Some of you may have reached out to someone older and more in charge to help you in this situation. There will be emotional messages sent and said in April. There is some unfinished business going on. It’s needs to be taken care of first in order to move on. Depending upon your situation, you need to fix it in the best way possible to not leave a negative energy behind. Negative feeds more negative. You can end a situation in a positive or neutral way so that you and the other aren’t spending excess time wishing hell on the other, not feeling angry when they or you think of the other and what has happened. You don’t have to like each other.. But life is better lived with no hatred seething behind backs. 😉 It will take a while… but everything will turn around in time.

Libra- I BALANCE

Libra- It’s as though you’ve been sleeping for a while and someone is knocking on your door… luring you out of this deep slumber… you go in and out of R.E.M…. But you haven’t quite woken up. It’s time. Forget who you’ve ever been, or what other people have labeled you. You’ve been working through  painful issues. During this time, you’ve also been separating yourself from certain people and situations. And yet you’re still holding back.  Why?? What are you afraid of? I see some of you attempting to move backwards, but you will be stopped. Uncertainty. It’s time to move forward. It’s time to flow with the current and not against it. You will begin to notice that when you release control it will become much easier for you in every way. Don’t put yourself in a box. Don’t give yourself too many rules to live by. Respect yourself more. Trust in yourself. You have everything you need at this time to begin. To attempt to do as you wish with your life. To be exactly as you want to be. Communicate your desires to the universe. Physically take action. Don’t hold yourself back.  I’m seeing someone coming in, Could be a water sign (Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio), or they will act with compassion and attempt to give you loving guidance. I’m also seeing the opposite where this person will come to you for guidance when it comes to a family member or long term situation that needs to be put to rest. Whatever this may be for you, it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for.

Have an Amazing April!! Blessed Be to You and Yours!

RJ Worrell

Spirituality… It’s seriously not a Trend.

I’m not trying to hate on anyone with this blog post, I can truly feel that some of them are very good people inside, but this has been slightly bothersome to me for almost 3 years, at the point when “Spirituality” completely blew up. For one thing, we are constantly flooded with fake news, and when so many hopped on the spiritual train, then attempted to take it somewhere else, I couldn’t help but to laugh in the beginning as it all seemed quite ludicrous to me.

Monk in meditation

Truly spiritual people do not care what their hair or nails look like. We do not make appointments to spend time at a salon. That is a waste of time to us. We utilize that time to go deeper internally. We do not care what we are wearing. We do not care to own a bunch of THINGS. We do not tout that we just attended Yoga, snapping shots for all to see. We actually do the least amount of physical activity as possible. At times, we may even neglect our physical selves. We do have our human moments, as we are alive as well… just far from as much as the general society. It is within my human moments, that last around 10 minutes, when I will flip open up a catalogue or go online, purchase a few items and then they end up sitting in my closet forever. Getting dressed on a daily basis consists of grabbing the first things at the top of a pile and then going inside of myself. Comfort Trumps Beauty 99% of the time.

Back in 2004, I went through a Year of what I refer to as a “Shamanism Phase”. I did not and do not spend my time reading text after text of literature explaining to me technical knowledge. I just EXPERIENCE it, work through the energy, gaining real life wisdom to then help others. You will never see or hear me repeating someone else. Though, I have been asked at times if I have read the material of certain individual’s since my conclusions were along the lines of theirs. My reply was simply, “I guess they are correct then!” If these individual’s were coming up with what I had, then they themselves have experience.

During my Shamanism Phase, I immersed myself in the Symbolism of Tarot. I spent about 14 hours a day in deep study. There were times when my Oldest son, who at that time was about 9 years old, would remind to to eat. Yes, My child had to remind me. Especially, when it got past 2-3 days. I wasn’t paying attention to my physical body, aside from the robotic daily shower, doing what I needed to do for my children, then quickly getting back to my studies. I found myself irritated and would grab a few pretzels, crunch them down and say, “There.” Next….. This went on for about a year. Every day would seem as though I was living in a fog. Physical activities appeared to be a blur.

Computer Monitor of the 90’s- early 2000’s

I remember the day I came out of this experience. I was sitting in front of my computer and I went to grab a candle that was on top of my Monitor. Our Monitors back then were chunky pieces of technology that took up space. As I was reaching for the candle I saw my wrist. At first, I thought it was someone else’s wrist and had a few seconds of confusion and disbelief, as I blinked my eyes and realized it was my own. How SKINNY I had become!!!! I didn’t choose when I entered into this “shamanism phase” nor when I exited. But, it was that very night that I had exited. I ran to the bathroom and fully looked myself over. I had been clearly on the edge of death. I didn’t recognize myself. Underneath my eyes was shallow skin of blackness. My physical body looking like a skeleton. Being on the edge of death allows for the individual to live more so in between dimensions to experience certain things that a human really shouldn’t. I will straight out send the warning— DO NOT do this on purpose! I didn’t do it on purpose, and it would be irresponsible and foolish to put yourself in this position just to experience what I am talking about.

Throughout my whole life I have gone in and out of experiences that I could never really explain or speak about to those that surrounded me. My family and most of my friends would not understand. I didn’t even completely understand what was happening to me and why. I’ve been asked by friends who were very interested in what I would speak about “why didn’t I just go and look it up at the library” as a child. Well, when you are brought up in a family of 7 older people who keep telling you that it’s your imagination, you’re making up stories, you’re trying to get attention and that what you’re experiencing isn’t real…. and you are told this repeatedly you start to believe them and think what you’re experiencing doesn’t exist, and that you just might be crazy. I’m going to give an embellished example, so that those that have never experienced anything outlandish can understand… Say you were to see a floating bottle of ketchup. Then you go to tell your family members, of whom are supposed to love and support you that a ketchup bottle was floating in mid air. Your point of telling them is so that you can get answers and feel ok inside. They tell you something like, “WHAT?!?!? That did NOT happen! Stop it!!” Then you are left with the confusion of knowing what you saw and having no one to turn to for answers or to make yourself feel better. Now, Imagine this happens repeatedly for years and years. It kind of reminds me of gas-lighting… only those that do that to another know what they are doing.

The point of me sharing my experiences is because I know damn well that there are others out there that have gone through almost the same thing as myself. Those that had no one to turn to. I have many experiences to share… real experiences and not embellished examples. I know that my blog post started as one entity and merged into what it has become. This is meant to be. This is right on time. This is me and my story. I have so much more to say. This is just the beginning.

I will end this posting with the definition of Spirituality:

It’s not about your Material collection and what you look like.

I would love to begin communicating with the Souls who have experienced things that could not be explained to them. There’s much more to come.

Blessed Be to You and Yours!

RJ Worrell

Through all of my moving around I am left with one.

PS… Things are different with my family now. It may have been triggered when I was about 25 and conducted my first spell. (you MUST do intensive study prior to dabbling!!) What I did seemed to prove the unbelievable to them. It wasn’t even meant to do that. It wasn’t even meant for them. But what it did changed my parent’s perception enough that when they came back from a vacation they had gifted me something I never in my life thought they would… Pentacle earrings. I cried tears of relief. Massive weight off of my shoulders. That moment meant more to me than ANYTHING to this day. I had nothing left to prove to anyone any longer. They prepped me for adulthood. Little did I know that I would be doing what I am as an adult. 😉 Everything happens for a reason.