Welcome to your Full Moon in Scorpio arriving on May 18th. As I was tuning in I heard the song “More Than Words Can say” by Alias. Water signs being very in depth and in tune with their emotions, sometimes gut wrenching emotions…. Feeling this shift hard core. Not only is the Full moon in Scorpio, but Mars went into Cancer and Lilith went into Pisces. Both are hard transits. Lilith stays in Pisces until 2020. With the Moon being in Scorpio it creates the need to delve into your feelings as deep as possible. You will desire meaningful emotional communication now more than ever, even if it is not easy and you are forced to change many aspects in your life or a particular sector. Shallow relationships will not satisfy you, because they are not purifying enough. You will want an intensely deep connection now.
Cancer being at one degree Speaks about Momentous change occurring. Mars is all about action and change… the sign of Cancer is cautious and slow moving… we have a bit of a tug of war going on. Something that once stood as part of our life is changing during this transit, whether this change is something you desire or not. This will challenge your position and/or beliefs. Some of you are the initiators of this change, while others are taken for a ride. So, if your specific change deals with a relationship, you are either the one that wants the relationship to come to an end, or the one that can’t avoid this end by another. Not all of these endings are bad. For some of you, you will be at a new beginning in your life where a change comes in and elevates you to the next level. For instance, you are sought out/found and given a Promotion or a new Job title that puts you where you want to be. Some will be very happy with this new shift, while others will feel ignored. With this Scorpio action there is an energy of shock occurring that has been building up for quite some time. If you’ve been very observant about what is transpiring in your life then you won’t be as surprised as others when this shift occurs. We will all be required to make the necessary adjustments and commitments of some kind.. We need to clearly state where we stand and what we stand for.
You will notice
during this time that you or other’s will become more so demanding of
attention. They will cause such a ruckus that it will be hard to ignore them.
It is like a child throwing a fit and screaming at the top of their lungs in
order to get their way. Or smacking you with a toy on your head over and over
again until you take it away. It will be annoying and exhausting for the one
who has to endure this other individual. They are seeking validation when they
really need to look inside themselves and find their own sense of worth that
they are lacking. This also goes for obsessively constant attention seeking on
social media. Get ready for a ton more selfies being posted, guys.
For some, you will
be either be showing off your own achievements or work and feel like it was all
for nothing. You may feel as though you don’t get the feedback that you should.
You need to understand that at this time it’s not about what you get in return…
what the true benefit is about is that you are helping in ways that you can’t
see or ever imagine. For example, what you do might help others to change their
lives or make them feel better about themselves. You could be a guiding light
The ruling planets
at this time are Saturn, Venus and Jupiter. Saturn is in Capricorn, and since
it rules the sign of Capricorn the energy is very powerful with this placement.
Both the Negative and postive qualities will be emphasized. This will cause you
to feel dedicated and unmoving when it comes to your wants, but you may appear
to be demanding to others. This placement can also seem to place obstacles in
your path to work through. Which also plays a part in how you react. Who likes
constant obstacles? No one… it makes us aggravated when we’re trying to achieve
success of our desires. Saturn being in the 10th house is very beneficial to us
all. Through this hard work over the apparent obstacles that are presented we
can achieve a power boost when it comes to our careers and when it comes to
With Venus being in
Taurus, You will want to show your emotions by use of the physical body. You
will notice that you will want to engage more sexually… some of you may come
off as smothering to the one you are with or the one you desire. Your wanting
desire to touch overpowers your thoughts. This position also brings luck when
it comes to finances. This can come through an inheritance or a partnership
Just like how Saturn
Rules Capricorn, Jupiter Rules Sagittarius and this is where it is stationed.
This brings Generosity and massive expansiveness to your life. This is an
excellent time to turn your ideas into money making projects, because this
placement also brings in good luck when it comes to your finances, only this
will be through your own endeavors.
The energy at this time is Dynamic and forward moving, causing you to feel restless, full of energy and carrying excess emotional pressure. You will want to release this pressure before you explode. You will be trying to achieve the ultimate truth for whatever plaques you at this time. You want that closure more than ever. Try not to be overbearing when seeking this truth.
I have conducted very short reads into each sign that I have uploaded on youtube!
Welcome to May, Air Signs!! Be Sure to read your Rising and Moon Signs as well. You can create your own chart to figure your own personal signs at astroseek.com… I have conducted a Collective read and then went in Individually.
You guys are dealing with Soul Healing at this time. If you do not know where your Chiron is placed at your time of birth, then definitely go create a chart and it will show you what you are trying to heal at this time individually. I find this amazing timing (yes, it still amazes me after 15 years) that I was just telling my oldest son about his. He’s a Gemini. I digress… I personally have Chiron in Taurus. It is a very hard placement!!! For other’s that find out that they have the exact placement as me, let’s share our experiences! Some of you will find out that your issues derive from a sense of abandonment, others will come to find the reason behind many failed relationships,… there are 12 different options, as well as 12 different house placements. Both are extremely important, so make sure you know your birth time or else you won’t see how it can be healed and fixed.
A Q U A R I U S: As I was shuffling the 8 of Cups revealed itself to me telling me that many of you want to move or walk away from your current situation. This can be an environment as well. There is a delay for most of you at this time. This could be a home, a specific job, a title, a relationship. The main thing is that you feel very unsatisfied. You don’t want to be in this position anymore and want to go towards what you dream of. This is validated Since I pulled the Star for Your general theme of May. The Star is about your hopes, wishes and dreams finally being fulfilled. What you’re aiming for you shall receive! I am seeing that you’ve been working through a sense of loss and disappointment, possibly regrets, but your focus is changing to a sense of strength to see what is on the other side of the situation. You will no longer focus on the problems, the issues, you will no longer say to yourself, “If only, what if, maybe if we try it this way instead.” it’s about focusing on what NEWNESS can be brought into your life to make it better… not holding onto what once was. You’re letting that shit go. There is this over domineering presence in your past. For some of you, this could be you standing for your rights, but doing so in a way where you’re sick of another trying to change your mind. Sometimes, We have to get a bit bitchy when telling another how something is going to go or when we give our answers because if we respond in a nice manner others think they can persuade us. I’m not an Aquarius but I can’t stand when someone tries to persuade me. I think I mostly answer in a bitchy way regardless. Lol Too many thinking they can tell me what’s up. Back to your reading… you have had to remain quite strong during this time and not back down. You have had to keep pushing through and chugging along in order to get through this situation. It’s not fully over though… I see that you will once again have to put your foot down against others who have an opinion. You each have your own wounds to heal as I stated prior but I feel as though you will have to work on standing up for yourself and taking your power back. It’s possible that many of you feel as though you were in hopeless situations or felt as though someone else always controlled you in some way… this may have led you to feel as though you didn’t deserve certain things in life. Well, the time has officially come to say “You were wrong!! And I deserve whatever I want! MY turn!” … I see within your outcome you will be doing what you want anyway, and even doing things that may be shady. Just try not to hurt anyone in the process. You’re going after what has been missing in your life. You have taken care of so many people or have done for others constantly as you put yourself on the back burner, and now you’re about to truly indulge and take care of YOU! (whether others like it or not!)
G E M I N I: As I was shuffling the 3 of wands revealed itself to me telling me that you are waiting on something at this time. This could include 2 other people for some of you. So, You may have sent something out in the universe and now you’re waiting on hearing an answer to the situation. It’s coming in May, no worries. I’m seeing you going through hard experiences from the past coming into the now. There is this individual in your past that is manipulative, malicious, does whatever he wants and doesn’t give a damn what chaos it causes. You’ve been in research mode trying to gather all of the details about this individual (who they truly are, what they have done). You feel as though you have given up your own willpower and strength to this other person or situation at this time and it is bothering you on a very deep level. I’m seeing some of you feeling disturbed at the core by this. It seriously is quite rattling. This may in turn cause you to neglect yourself or certain things within your own enviornment. If you’re a mother, you may go on a bit of a strike to get your children or spouse to help out… it’s like you’re being taken for granted and you’re sick of it! Even if you’re not a mother and you live with someone else, you may be putting in way more effort than them. You’re done! I’m seeing a lot of you not budging on this through the month of May. Some of you may get to the point where things feel so stagnant… your life as a whole or your emotions are collecting behind the surface. Try not to freak out. You need to become more grounded as an individual and to speak to someone. Get some help. Look for better ways to become more productive for your own self. It seems like a catch 22…. You do these things (lack of) to prove a point but it’s as though you mess with your own energy. Messing with your own positivity is not the way. You don’t want to end up bogged down stuck in a negative emotion. Look towards what intrigues you and sparks your interest. I’m seeing many of you learning something new after the consideration has been met. If you’re not sure of what you’d like to do just yet, don’t worry. I’m seeing a positive outcome for you that will fill you with hope! A new beginning rests at the end of your storm.
L I B R A: As I was cutting the deck the Empress revealed itself to me indicating that you guys are trying to take control of your environment. There may have been things put to the side for a while and now you know that you must focus on them in order for them to grow. You are also spiritually growing and transforming at this time. You are surrounded by profound change at this time. It’s as though Luck itself has come to visit and you may not even realize it. It is sitting there watching you, as you go through this process of letting go. I am seeing you experience a type of death inside. Externally, you are changing things in your atmosphere. You could be changing the way in which you do a specific task, or on a wider perspective, you could be trying to move locations. However, There is a lack of communication and movement. There’s this energy of a fire festering getting ready to Burn. This month you will be focusing on what brings you great satisfaction, financial abundance, and what you can offer to the world. I’m seeing as though a little birdie is telling you a secret. This is something that can help you achieve more trust within yourself, more pride about who you are and what you’re doing… for some this can be something physical that you go and get done that helps to boost your confidence. Your advice for this month is to take some time away from the norm. Don’t look to other people. Don’t watch what they are doing. Try to think outside the box. It could be that your normal circle of friends or network has become toxic or flooded with difficulty. If so, there is a much better tribe waiting for you. Looking at your Mantra for the month validates this theory- ” New worlds are calling you forth where the old rules don’t apply”. You are to be like Alice in Wonderland at this time. What is down that hole? Who knows… but, you’re meant to go down it and then rediscover yourself… to find a whole new approach. Possibly even a whole new You. I’m seeing you being able to come to a place inside of yourself where you feel free, young, and fearless. Think back to how you felt as a child, when everything was new and you were open and curious. That’s where you will find yourself by the end of May. Completely open minded, Fearless and having a good time!
Welcome to May,
Earth signs! Be sure to read your Rising and Moon Signs! I have conducted a
collective read as well as per individual sign. Enjoy!
Your main focus for this month completely suits your element, as it is all about stability! I’d say we are right on point with this past New Moon in Taurus… hopefully, many of you set new intentions, conducted your rituals, created your vision boards, and have began to manifest your desires. Very powerful for you at this time. Yes, you can still do these things if you have not yet!! For a lot of you there seems to be a mystery surrounding you lives or current situations. You feel as though something is happening behind the scenes and you feel unstable or insecure about it. You want to get to the heart of the matter. Because feeling this way takes you completely out of your comfort zone! For some of you this began at the end of April/beginning of May. For others, this has been going on a while. This may lead you to become ungrounded and to take an action that you normally wouldn’t take. Maybe checking someone’s messages, stalking them online, watching what they do. You don’t have ill intentions towards this person… you want validation for what you think is happening. Better yet…. Most of you truly want to be proven wrong when it comes to this.
C A P R I C O R N: WOW, Caps!! In May I see that A lot of you are angry as hell about a situation that seems very unfair. I feel like some of you kind of knew this would happen, so it’s not a huge shock, but it’s still a surprise. I’m seeing a situation when it comes to family here. It seems like all was going well and then all of a sudden … BAM! Out of nowhere this unexpected incident occurs. There is this energy of a power struggle occurring. Arguments, fights. Someone trying to manipulate the situation or a person you care about. Someone is trying to justify why this has happened. Or you could be so pissed off about this situation because they basically messed up what you had going which was a VERY good thing… and you won’t stand for it. I’m seeing that this is not over! There is someone charging in quickly with a lot to say about this matter. For some of you, I am seeing that there is someone who is angry (I feel like they’ve been waiting to state their peace for a while… just waiting for something to happen to trigger them to feel like it’s time to finally come clean.) There is very powerful energy surrounding this. I am feeling very on fire and restless just reading this for you. Don’t turn your head, don’t turn your back..,, watch from all sides, because you yourself could be a target of this individual who can’t seem to calm down. I am being told that you must protect yourself and your environment. You need to stand up for your beliefs and stand up to others. The good news is that… your outcome is the SUN. Thank god! After what I was seeing…. Everything will work out. Everything will finally be out in the open, no more secrets to be revealed. Your Friends will be your most supportive people when it comes to this situation… so, if you need to call upon them, do so. Most of you won’t need to call upon them because they will be there in an INSTANT to help back you up. I know this sounds scary for some of you but this is required to clear the air. Stay strong!!
T A U R U S: As I cut the deck the 6 of swords revealed itself telling me that you’re moving away from disappointing circumstances. This card showed up again as your last months carry over. Something that you didn’t expect happened. It’s as though things were going well, you thought all was good, you may have been working towards a goal and then this knocked you off your horse. You were side swiped. Trying to move on from this type of ordeal isn’t very easy. So what are you doing… you’re currently trying to focus on the future. I get this energy from you that you won’t be as open as you have been. You will keep a lot close to your chest. For some of you, I am seeing that you have a goal to save as much money as possible for future use if needed. This is the energy of gathering resources and gaining a sense of security. You are told to say what you need to say, but try not to allow your emotions to get the best of you. I’m also getting that you’ll be setting up some type of trust, an investment… passing it down later to a family member. For others, this is a long term goal towards securing and stabilizing a family unit…. So that you no longer need to stress and worry about financial ups and downs. I am seeing you walking away from all the bullshit. You could have continued to play a part in either a competitive group of people or you just will chose to avoid further conflict. You want the tension to be released. A lot of you will be utilizing your intuition naturally when it comes to this situation. It’s time to reinvent yourself or the situation all together.
V I R G O: As I was shuffling Justice revealed itself to me stating that you’re in a situation where a sense of balance is trying to be attained. Some of you may be going to court, or seeking out wise counsel and help from a mediator. You also may feel as though you are in an unfair situation. Your cards seem heavy to me. Aside from the fact of what I said concerning Justice, this is showing me that you’re so damn tired and don’t know how much longer you can hold on. You’ve been through so much recently. Your coming from a phase where you felt insecure and had to keep things close to your chest. You may have held onto finances or secrets, but what you have held onto seem very important for future use. You’ve been trying to figure out some information so that you don’t go into something blindly. Some of you have been looking up this information yourself on the internet… you may have been watching a person to see what they’re up to or watching several people. You’re trying to gather as much as you can to make things work out for you in the long run. I am seeing that you will be meeting a person who can help you and give you what you need. They will tell you what you need to do and how to go about implementing plans or the way forward. So, this relates back to what I saw in Justice for some of you that will need to seek out wise counsel. The advice for you is to take some time off, away from the noise. You need time to yourself after meeting up with this individual or finding out the information you need in order to clear your head and work through your emotions. You want to take future steps in a calm, mature, well informed manner, and by taking this time to yourself you will achieve this. You have been having intuitive reactions to what you don’t know. This is the case of “You know, but it hasn’t been proven yet.” This is what you’re trying to figure out. You’re on a personal quest for truth. Trust yourself this month and going forward.
Welcome to May,
Water Signs! Be sure to read your Rising and Moon When Posted! I conducted a
collective read, then went into each sign individually. Enjoy!
Your Physical self
is very important in May. You will find the need to speak about your physical
health, your appearance, about the desires of your body (could be of sexual
nature), what you’d like or need to do in order to change a certain physical
aspect that has been bothering you. In the past, you have tried to mask a flaw
… kept it hidden as much as possible. You may have thought about it repeatedly
to the point where something now must be done! You could decide to begin a
workout regimen, a specific diet plan, go to a plastic surgeon, a dentist. I’m
seeing some of you truly feeling the desire to come OUT in some way.
Communication about yourself, your goals, and what you would like to do in order to make this change is highlighted this month.
C A N C E R: As I was cutting the deck the 8 of cups revealed itself telling me that you desire this change, but for a lot of you this change is being delayed. You want to leave behind what doesn’t make you happy and feel fulfilled, but you haven’t really communicated about this or haven’t taken the steps needed. I’m seeing you as being run down, tired, drained, in the past, coming into May. I am hearing, “What Now??” for some of you. It is as though one thing happens after the other…. I wanted to initially say “bad thing”, but it’s not really bad, it’s just annoying… exhausting, as in nothing seems to be going right or running smoothly. Your plans aren’t coming about in the way that you’d like them to be. Currently, things are at a standstill. Not much movement, no communication… this is where the other delay is. It is as though some of you haven given up or wanted to. The process is taking too long for some of you. You’re sick of it. You feel like you’ve been through war at this point. How much longer are you supposed to hold on?? How much more must you take to get what you deserve?? How much more work should you put in?? You’ve done enough! Well, my crabbies… The tides are changing for you! 🙂 May brings in The Wheel of Fortune! I’m seeing you meeting with another that you will feel a good connection towards. Communication will flow freely and openly. A discussion about a new opportunity or way of being. It will be a risk for you that you may feel like backing out of, as though you don’t have enough confidence, faith, funds, whatever it may be…. This will cause yet another delay, but I do see you finally moving forward with trust. Success is coming. The energy of endings and beginnings surround you this month. You are meant to go on this new path. This may be a WHOLE ENTIRELY new path for some of you, as you received not only the Fool, but with the oracle a card titled ” Brilliant Virgin”. This could be a whole new relationship, a new career path or business start up, or when we think about your physical body you can entirely change as aspect of yourself… 😉
S C O R P I O: As I was cutting the deck the King of Wands revealed itself telling me that you need to take control of your situation with no fear involved. Some of you may have many ideas that you must get out there… show them to the world… tell them to an individual that can help you make them become a reality. IN the past I see you holding on tightly to these ideas and not revealing them. (this could actually be a person for some of you… you have thoughts about what they’ve been up to… you’ve been trying to get this out of them… it’s like a huge secret. You hold on tightly to them.) This woman holds a sacred scroll as though it is her precious baby. There are secrets in your past. Currently, I am seeing you giving up. You could be giving up in general or finally giving up what you have kept so close to your chest. You will be communicating honestly about what you want to bring forth. I’m seeing a definite answer being given. There will be no more delays or beating around the bush. The decision will be made to take the risk and make it happen. You must allow yourself to let go of all and any preconceived notions… you must allow yourself to change and drift from the past to the present into the future. Try not to focus too much on where this leads you. I am seeing that this ending will be hard for a lot of you. As you’re showing that you don’t want to leave this state of security even though it has held you back. You have some emotional ties to it. You’ve been planning for a long time. You need to leave this phase behind because something so much better is waiting for you out there. You can’t see that yet. Your mantra for the month of May validates and tells you to take that risk… to change… to allow the change… And as the card of Death that you received as your advice goes hand in hand with your extra insight of Transformation… You must let go and to allow the universe to step in. You’ll be glad that you did in the end. It will feel like a weight off of your shoulders and a whole new You.
P I S C E S: As I was cutting the deck the 9 of wands revealed itself telling me that you’ve been holding on for as long as you possibly could, even though it has been quite the fight. Some of you just want to say, “Fuck it.” drop it and walk away. You guys have some crazy cards! I see that in the past there were secrets and things hidden. You definitely felt this deep within and had all kinds of thoughts and visions about what possibly took place behind your back. I am seeing an emotional roller coaster for some of you. Currently, there is this Knight of Swords charging forth who has a lot on their mind and they can’t help themselves but to tell you what they think, how they feel, and what they expect to happen. This could be you acting like this Knight of swords. This individual astrologically is an Air Sign, but I go mostly with the energy of the personality. This individual seems PISSED (angry). Problem is they (or you) are jumping to a conclusion/decision way too quickly without knowing all of the details. You guys have 3 6’s in your reading! Harmony and balance is needed so much in this situation. You have an emotional imbalance, a Physical imbalance, and a Major decision to make. For some of you this decision is about keeping what you have or going a different route… a route that you feel more drawn towards. Others are about to make a huge decision within a relationship or friendship. I’m seeing you wanting to go back and reconcile because the situation has gotten out of hand… others are stuck on something that was done or denied to them in the past. It’s truly a hurdle to work through. You’re advised to be honest, fair and to give as well as receive equally. If you feel you owe something to someone or that they owe something to you, this should be discussed if it hasn’t yet. You may have been way too generous with your time and/or resources and now boundaries must be set and respected. Your mantra for the month speaks about discipline. Don’t try to receive what you want by the use of force. Instead, utilize intelligence with an open heart and a good attitude towards the other when this discussion takes place. Know that all is not as it seems to be. Try not to act impulsively, as I see that by you remaining mature and compassionate everything will turn out well for all involved.
Welcome to May, Fire
Signs! 🙂 Be Sure to read your Rising and Moon signs when they are posted.
Below I have read on your element collectively as well as individually!
Fire signs are transforming in May. Most likely around this Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th. The energy will catapult you! A type of Debt is being paid off. For some of you that have been going through hard experiences, your reward is coming in. So, don’t push away any type of offering, meeting, suggestion (most of these will seem as though they are nothing or aren’t worth your time, but you’ll be surprised.) It could be the starting point of something much larger than you could ever imagine. You don’t have to instantly get excited, Jump at the chance or make a decision quickly. You just need to remain open and neutral… see where it goes.
Many of you will be challenged through an ending of some kind in order to move on to better circumstances. It’s all pretty much Karmic Debts. Say you’ve been in a relationship or a job (specific career) for a very long time and now you will be released from it in some way. It could be in a unpredictable way as well. Especially, with Lillith transiting Pisces for a year (began on May 3rd 2019). Be prepared to leave your comfort zone and definitely try not to “wing it”. You’re either going to be the alchemist or the student of you situation. You may Sit back and observe or see how you can change your circumstances. If you remain the student… someone else will come in as the teacher. It’s best to take control and to figure out the best way to navigate through your ordeal to gain the best outcome.
A R I E S: When the deck was cut the 6 of cups was revealed. Definitely working on past issues, old happy memories coming about as well, past life karma. Currently, the Star as we come into the month of May. Carrying over the Justice from April. Last months general theme is the Knight of Pentacles. This month’s general theme is queen of cups. Some of you could be dealing with an over emotional, manipulative loved one. Could be a water sign. They can be smothering. Vindictive. Passive aggressive. There is this energy of unfairness happening that you’re bringing forth from last month… or the past. Keeping in mind that some of this could derive from childhood, past lives or younger years. This individual could be acting out like a bratty child. Someone deranged. Your advice is to take control, don’t allow someone else to dictate to you, put your foot down, direct the situation in a positive manner with respect, but don’t allow them to disrespect you in return. Set the course. Plan ahead. Delegate when needed. Outcome is the 2 of cups. This person is not going to like what you’re doing. There will be miscommunication, a disagreement, not being able to compromise. Now, I see why they will throw a bit of a tantrum and try to deliver guilt trips. You’re done hanging back, you’re done feeling sick, you’re done thinking through your situation and you’re done healing…. You’re ready to take what you’ve learned with great strength and move forward. Mantra for the month… You may feel like you’re juggling a lot this month… even if it’s your emotions that are on a bit of a roller coaster. Try not to get overwhelmed. Take breaks so that you won’t get drained or become exhausted. Prioritize what you need to do first, then go from there. Allowing someone else to help where they can will be beneficial. You will be able to manage and handle all that is happening as long as you stay present and relax. Your extra insight for May comes from your own Soul. You have had this discussion before, of this lesson that would come about in your life, how it would all go down and what you would have to do and learn from this process. What does your gut say? You may have trouble controlling your own emotions when it comes to this other person. To get counsel or therapy will be helpful at this time to keep you calm and on your path.
S A G I T T A R I U S: When the deck was cut the Ace of Cups revealed itself telling me that you’re at a new beginning in your life, filled with hope. For some of you this may be delayed. I’m seeing you receiving a huge “A ha” moment. AS though looking back on your life and your various experiences has brought forth a new revelation to your current situation. I’m seeing that you’ve been stressing out or stuck in a bit of a mind trap that seemed NEVER ENDING. The energy I’m seeing is of Clouds being dispersed. Confusion being cleared. Clarity has arrived. Carrying over Strength … you’ve been through some very hard and trying times, have persevered and remained as strong as possible. Holding back a lot of what you wanted to say or actions you wanted to take. And if you did say them or take them they were straight forward and full of courage. Very mature. Trying to take the higher road. King of Wands is this month’s general theme… he is looking at the past like “Fuck that! I’m most important!” You are what I call “angry strong”… You refuse to go backwards. Enough is enough Change needs to take place. Your Mantra… “this isn’t over… you haven’t won.” You have been making sacrifices for far too long. It’s like you’re noticing that you’ve been stuck in a dysfunctional situation or relationship. Or you were stuck in one in the past and you’re now seeing that for all it is… seeing the bigger picture. May have felt or seemed cultish to you. For a lot of you this deals with a family situation. For others this is something else that you had to play a part in for a long time and follow the rules that were laid out for you. I’m seeing that for a lot of you by the end of May (Timing is different for everyone) you will still feel stuck in this. You want to get out SO BADLY… and honestly, you can get out, you may not see how yet, or feel that you can. You will be very tempted to go behind the backs of others or do what you want in the meantime without them knowing… I see you doing tricky tactics, but it’s not like you’re trying to hurt the person, you just can’t openly do what you want at this time.
L E O: When the deck was cut the Wheel of fortune revealed itself telling me that karmic destiny plays a massive role in your situation. I am noticing many changes within your cards. If you were a reader I would just rattle the card titles off to you and you would be like “holy shit.” I have you currently walking away from a situation. This is a situation that has held you in place for a very long time. You have felt as though there was nothing that you could possibly do to change it. You just had to hang there and observe it from every angle. You couldn’t make a move. You either decided to hold yourself there or the situation did. But now, you’re able to move on towards something much more gratifying. You hope that it will be anyway. Seeing this king of Wands here as your hovering energy, you want to take direct action about something in particular. You feel quite confident in your ability to get what you want. You have this burning desire to charge forth, but you hold yourself back because you know that the situation could become chaotic if you allowed yourself to do what you fantasize about. You will take the much slower approach, step by step, laying down the foundations towards your goal. Looking at the oracle card that I pulled of extra insight, it is titled Provoker… and I kind of laughed to myself… because I saw this with the King of Wands… Some of you want to provoke another for whatever reason. Maybe they have what you want. Maybe you feel they don’t deserve it. I feel as though just your presence could be intimidating in this situation. I’m not saying that YOU’RE intimidating on a daily basis (though some of you could be), I’m saying that within this situation, you could be intimidating to the one you have your eye on or the one that you’re thinking about confronting… there we go… that’s the other word I was looking for. You will be thinking about your happily ever after in May… this is your main goal and focus. You want everything you’ve ever asked for when it comes to a loving family. You want everything to go well and for all to get along. You want to make this happen so you’re about to journey and find it. Some of you may have to leave an individual or a current location behind. Others will have to leave behind a certain way that you’ve been living for a long time… especially, if you’ve been single. It will be time to share your life with another. You’re advised to take the time needed in order to repair your thoughts and emotions… some of you have to re[air your health. Taking this much needed time will help to gain the courage to move forward. Your outcome shows you needing to make a decision…. One that you may have ignored and put off… it’s scary for some of you. But it must be done. Overall, is Death…. Yes, that wonderful transformation I was speaking about in the collective above. Your life is about to change in a massive way! And it is for the better. Your Mantra for the month validates as you’re told to “go Fish!” It’s a gamble, sure…. But one worth taking.
With this New Moon
being in Taurus, the main topic that will be on your minds will be centered
around STABILITY. Financial Stability, Physical Stability, Relationship
Stability and Comforts… The Physical Body. How and What we surround ourselves
with and put into our Soul’s Chariot (Physical Body). How we can create this
sense of structure into our lives.
are a stubborn bunch when it comes to change. They want things to be a specific
way and don’t really care to veer off course. They are very cautious and
require backed-up proof before making a decision. We each take a piece of this
into our lives, in some form and during certain periods of time, especially
around this New Moon. What you’ve been stubborn about changing or have been
unsure of… it’s time to get serious about. It’s time to become devoted to this
transformation. It will take effort, trust and dedication, but it will be so
worth it in the end.
With this New moon
directly landing on the 4th, know that the number 4 is “Stability”.
Two confirmations, Double the solidity of what you are about to bring into
existence beginning on or around this day. If you’ve been feeling off balance
or losing hope, then this is a very good time to ground yourself. To come back
into alignment with your goals and visions for your future. This is also about
paying off long held debts and bringing your body back into balance. Imagine
the four legs of a table or a chair in order to hold everything together. You
will begin building these legs and gluing them into place. It’s time to set
plans and to focus on the details. To Get relationships in order as well. When
it comes to relationships, agreements need to be made and promises kept. Try
not to change what is agreed upon at a later date.
Taurus is a Feminine
sign, so these changes made won’t be erratically or done by brute force. Being
a Physical sign, we will see the steps taken and the results with our own eyes.
This will not be an emotional change. Very far from. We will be driven by what
inspires us or gets us moving. When the Moon was in Libra we conducted a lot of
analysis and thought, the New Moon in Aries caused us to feel the burning
desire to change, now Taurus causes us to take action to lay down the
foundations to which we are aiming to achieve. To get down and dirty… it’s time
to get deep into the garden and plant our seeds, to put in more effort and do
the work required of us. This can be quite tedious, just take it one step at a
time. I’m seeing you observe each action or each plan you implement, before
moving onto the next step. Some of you will become methodical about this
process you’re beginning. We will have to be our own advocate, as Neptune is
still in Pisces causing us to drift into a sea of fantasy when we need to stay
in the reality of our situations. No more dreaming about what we want… no more
fantasizing about a different life. It’s time to get serious and make it
What have you initiated and what is drawing to a close in your life? What kind of adjustments have you made in your life? Since the last full Moon in Libra on March 20th, many of us have been through some major shifts and changes. With a bit of heavy, foggy energy, then a speeding up of energy, then back to the grind. It’s been pretty tumultuous for us!!! Endings had to be made, beginnings had to be initiated, and now where do we stand on this next phase in our life? If you have not began to initiate and act accordingly the energy may become tough for you in the coming months.
There was a need to seek balance. Some of you had to make adjustments when it came to your lifestyle. Either between your own needs and the needs of others, Between work and a social/family life, within your career and what you wanted to focus on and present, within your health, as well as your relationships. I’m noticing that there may have been frustration when it comes to a workable combination, due to the fact that you may have been bouncing back and forth in between extremes. Not being able to make up your mind when it comes to sticking to one thing, or sticking to one decision. And, there has been some pretty heavy decisions to be made. This requires one to detach emotionally in order to weigh the pros and cons, Or else you will keep yourself in a cycle of confusion.
There is tension escalating, as we are right on the verge of Libra going into Scorpio. Libra Balances and Scorpio Transforms. The energy has been as though we are climbing up a roller coaster and once we move into Scorpio the energy takes off like a bat out of hell. We will then have to tend to keeping on course! Not allowing obstacles to prevent us from moving forward or within this energy- Veering off the track! We Definitely do not need some type of “Final Destination” scenario occurring, but what isn’t truly meant for us will surely announce that it’s the wrong path. Hopefully, at this point you have gotten most of your ducks in a row and have your plans in hand. There will be Shocks and Surprises to come and you will want to be prepared! Do not give up if and when you encounter issues, become stimulated by them. Use the energy to conquer and get things done! Moderation and being patient with others when required will help to keep things from blowing out of proportion.
There could be conflicts with close family members at this time that need to be resolved. You may notice that your loved ones become much more emotionally demanding than usual. They may feel as though they have been “wronged” somehow or you may feel this way as well. There is a deep desire to DO something about it. This can cause a radically unexpected change with them and within the circumstances. For many, I am seeing something to do with contracts or papers. You are either handing them over or receiving them. Some of you are inquiring in a dominant way about said papers or contracts. Not backing down. This will have a profound impact on your personal life. What has been hidden and waiting is being revealed.
Many of you will have this strong sense of self-control. You will begin to feel (if you haven’t yet) very ambitious about your desires. Being on the verge of transformative Scorpio you seek deep change in your circumstances. Mostly, within your relationships, connections, and finally achieving the peaceful balance to move into your next level of success. Definitely, allow yourself to immerse into your emotions, but keep steady on the surface. Get ready for the Transformative Energy to come!
Welcome to April, Earth Signs!! This month I conducted a Collective Elemental Read, then conducted readings per sign. Be Sure to check out your Rising and Moon Signs. For those that are interested in my Personal Experiences and getting to know all about me, I posted my First blog titled “Spirituality… it’s seriously not a trend” Snoop around and Ye shall find! 😉 Fire and Water have been posted. The New Moon in Aries post is the energy for this week. Now on with the show!
Collectively: I’m seeing you Physically moving away, and/or moving away from difficulties. If you’re not physically moving away, some of you have thoughts of moving from where you’re currently at. It’s not where you want to be. Disappointments have been many. You long to get back into positive energy and to go with the flow in a peaceful manner. You need to focus on what YOU can do and what you can offer. Focus on how you can get back the security that you’re aiming for. Believe in yourself and persevere through this energy. Internally, you may be overly emotional. Cut off and cold. It’s from the issues that you have been through. Externally, you’re showing stress. You’re not really hiding how you feel or the problems that you’re dealing with to your closest friends and family. You are communicating with them about what you’ve been going through. There are slow changes coming about in your life. These are emotional changes. You’re attempting to move forward, but this won’t come on rapidly. You will conquer your situation by releasing control on how timely what you want comes to you. You do need to go with the flow of events on a day to day basis. Try not to go from A to Z too quickly. It doesn’t work that way. I’m seeing you struggling when it comes to certain friends or a community of people. They may not understand where you’re coming from or agree with what you’re doing. This can add to the stress you’re experiencing. Don’t worry too much about others, just focus on your yourself. There is the energy of delay, but you will get to where you need to be.
C A P R I C O R N- As I was shuffling I heard, “When in doubt, Strike it out”. You want to begin a course of action. For a lot of you this is about a relationship. Someone you met in the past you felt an instant connection to. Your souls know each other. You’ll full of hope. You have a crush. It’s a new beginning. The problem is that some of you already belong to someone else. You will feel like you have to turn down this offer and to try and move on from them, but you’ll be stuck thinking about them constantly if you do this. Others want to make a major change in their life. You have met with someone who can help you achieve this goal. But, there seems to be an issue as well as a delay when it comes to getting started. This could be financial for some of you. You may not have the funds to begin. You are told to search for the information, to find a solution to your problem. Keep your wits about you. Your emotions in check. Try not to obsess over the fact that you may be currently stuck. Focus more on how to get out of the blocked situation. The answer is there.
T A U R U S- As I was shuffling I heard, “you WISH you knew me!” You know that you are a rare individual. There’s many that don’t know the real you. But you also hold yourself up high and choose the ones who you invite into your private world. You may have experienced someone or quite a few people recently who have treated you, or spoken to you in a such a way that you didn’t deserve. If they only knew how amazing you are. I’m seeing some of them talking to you in such a way as if they think you don’t know much. They are being condescending. Now, you’re ready to show them exactly who you are. To take back what is yours. In the past you hid certain aspects of yourself. Even if others were showing off their talents and skills… their assets. You hid yours more closely to your chest. Only bringing them out when required. Just barely. You’re currently on a mission. Devotedly dedicated to this mission. This could be within your career for many of you. But this is a showing of physical things. You’re going to showcase your worth. In April, I see you doing something spontaneous. It’s as though you put on a blindfold and spin the wheel. Whatever comes up, you’re doing it! Some of you will be using your intuition to “spin this wheel”. My advice to you is that you’ve come a LONG way to get to this point. You most likely are exhausted. But there’s a bit more work to do and you know this. Stay strong and take breaks when needed. You may not know where this is leading to, but no matter how crazy things may seem, you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing. Don’t question it. See where this takes you.
V I R G O- I feel like you guys are in a restrictive energy. You’re coming out of this. You may have been tempted to cheat in some way to try and get out of this energy. Something or someone was about to be taken away from you. For some of you this has actually happened. Try not to do something underhanded, but rather utilize your intelligence in a healthy manner for coming up with a tactic. I’m seeing in the past that you come from a place of stability and security. Though, at times, even if this was satisfying, you felt that something was a miss. You didn’t feel complete. I see you coming together with another and forming an agreement. They are on the same page as you. A trusted Advisor. In April, You will become more confident and making the changes needed. I’m seeing exciting travel for some of you. Others will be moving. Projects will begin. You are told to have a plan, set your course, and know where to go. You can’t return to what was. You have to focus ahead. Be Mature and Responsible. Organize what you need to in great detail. This reminds me of a portfolio… If you have an idea or a business plan you will need to showcase your ideas and explain them. With Financial situations, you need to show a list of purchases, why they were purchased, and the date. These are just examples that will help to get things moving along. Whatever it is, you are required to be precise. This will help for you to get back to a much more joyful and light energy.
Have an Amazing April!! Blessed Be to You and Yours! RJ Worrell
Welcome to April, Water Signs!! This month I conducted a Collective Elemental Read, then conducted readings per sign. Be Sure to check out your Rising and Moon Signs. For those that are interested in my Personal Experiences and getting to know all about me, I posted my First blog titled “Spirituality… it’s seriously not a trend” Snoop around and Ye shall find! 😉 On IG it’s in my Highlights. Now on with the show!
Collectively: You guys are Still in a state of disappointment and needing to move on. I believe you had the same message the last time I checked in. You’ve been focused on what went wrong or what you cannot have. Instead of focusing on where to go from here. You are being told to come together, communicate, listen, and compromise… just be. Make an agreement. You will meet with someone you feel a camaraderie to and will easily relate to the other.You must nurture the connection. This is a time for growing and expanding instead of dwelling. Internally, you didn’t get what you hoped for or really wanted. Wishes rejected, ignored. Externally, you’re acting as though you’re fine and over it. Attempting to work through your thoughts. You’ll be striving to understand what needs to be done and trying not to allow your emotions to rule your actions at this time. You may struggle with getting things going or trying to get another on board with your vision. You may be losing hope, but not all is lost. Keep the faith!
Cancer- I’m seeing you wanting to “get something off of the ground” and going. In the past you were communicating often and trying to gain as much information as possible. Looking at all of your options, trying to make an informed decision on the matter. You will be having a meeting with another to discuss your plans. You’re ready to become a Pioneer and take on the challenge. ** Tuned in message: I see you Crabs standing on the edge of a cliff, with your hands rested on your hips, your chest out, your cape flying! Haha You’re trying to own your world! Putting your foot down. Taking a stand. Some of you may be about to tackle a risky challenge, But you’re ready to rumble! You’ll feel as though you have it all under control and on your side. You’ll feel like a winner or very Proud of yourself. You’re looking toward a desired result, and for most of you it will deal with your Finances. With Patience and gradual advancement, successful achievement will be on it’s way. ** However, in April, It as though you’re stalling. For some of you, the situation is at a standstill. As it is at a standstill, there are issues bubbling up behind you. This could be your own emotions that you’re allowing to backup. But there are definitely things going on behind the scenes as you “sit in silence”. You are surrounded by a strong protective energy where you have the powerful potential to benefit those around you with this decision. You’re having to push past boundaries and rules that may be in place. As long as you keep heading forward and your eyes on your goal, you will be successful.
Pisces- Not being
listened to… You guys are being very strong. I’m seeing you speaking with
someone in the past about your plans and they didn’t take it very well. You
were discussing something you really wanted to invest effort and time into.
They didn’t think it was a good idea. They may even of tried to dictate your
own thoughts and emotions, trying to make you feel small and maybe even
question yourself. Some of you were simply denied this meeting of the minds.
Others were denied financial assistance. You felt stuck and blocked. But now,
you’re going to take it all on yourself. You won’t let them stop you. Even
though you will have a lot to take on, and tasks to complete, you will do so
because you really want this change in your life. Keep your focus on what
you’re trying to achieve, The positives within this situation, and this will
help you to see clearly so that you will know how to maneuver around any
obstacles. There will not be instant gratification. *** Extra Message when I
was tuning in… It is as though you are floating in the air, outwardly in a
manner of Zen, but yet you know you’re on the edge of something huge. Some of
you may not even be able to “put your finger on it”. You’re in the
middle of your own destiny shifting. Weighing the pros and cons. Individually,
of course. There is a profoundly spiritual energy taking place. There is no
loneliness in one’s own bubble. You’re going deeper. Distractions come and go
as though they are all a blur. After introspection the planning stages will
occur. Just don’t become impulsive, like a lion finally let out of a cage.
Scorpio- The first
feeling I got with your reading is “Giving up.”. Giving up the fight.
Giving up the struggle. Not able to keep things going. You are unable to keep
up the demands of someone/something, this could be two different things or two
different people. For some of you, You may have been trying to get them to
compromise or come together in harmony. This could be you and another as well,
if you’ve had a disagreement or a falling out. No follow through. In the past
you’re coming from a place of being very hopeful about getting your wishes
granted. I’m seeing many bills coming in too fast. Your hard earned money
disappearing before you even see it. Especially, if you have direct deposit. I
am seeing you struggling and needing help. You will begin reaching out to a
support system. Someone who can help you to put the pieces together when it
comes to your situation and condition. You will be opening up to another about
how you’re feeling and what you want. I’m seeing some of you needing to learn a
new skill or take a course. You will put more effort into self care and placing
more value on yourself. You can manifest your desires. You need to take control
of your situation and do what needs to be done. The power is actually in your
hands. I’m seeing long term stability occurring for you once you take a new
Have an Amazing April!! Blessed Be to You and Yours!
Welcome to April, Fire Signs! This month I conducted a Collective Elemental Read, then conducted readings per sign. Be Sure to check out your Rising and Moon Signs. For those that are interested in my Personal Experiences and getting to know all about me, I posted my First blog titled “Spirituality… it’s seriously not a trend” Snoop around and Ye shall find! 😉 On IG it’s in my Highlights. Now on with the Show!
Collectively : I’m seeing that you had a decision to make, but wasn’t facing it out of fear. Some of you are still going through this. This is changing. Your Collective lesson for the month deals with Support. You may need to find it within yourself first, but you have more support than you realize out there. You need to be honest and fair with yourself, your goals and with others. Internally, you’re budding with inspiration and new ideas. You want to begin something that will bring excitement into your life. Renewal of passion. But externally, you’re holding yourself back. This could be due to insecurities or a fear of instability. You will struggle when it comes to others. Possibly someone trying to outshine you or start an argument. You may even know this as to why you hold yourself back. BE BOLD, be BRAVE and COURAGEOUS!! That’s how you are naturally!! There is no need to be perfect immediately… Do what you feel you should…. Stop paying attention to your thoughts so much. You may regret it if you don’t just make this change. It will change how you feel about yourself and the energy of your situation will drop past emotional baggage… It’s time to Show them what you got!
A R I E S : Communication is a big theme for you from now through April. You may be rushing in too quickly. You have a strong desire to say what you need to say. There may have been certain things on your mind for a while now, and you no longer can hold yourself back. Be careful not to express yourself in a careless manner. You can get straight to the point in a more respectful way. There is a better chance for others to listen to you, and to entertain consideration of your opinions. It is as though you have had two opposing advisors — your thoughts & your emotions. You still have a huge decision to make that will change the course of your life. You were filled with all of these ideas and future projections of success, you were contemplating a different path from your current one… What if??? You’re right not to just jump into this decision quickly. You may need time first to step back and to investigate certain aspects to what you desire and trying to change. In April, You’ll be taking it one step at a time, day by day, one thing at a time, and with each task that you complete, you will be one step closer to a feeling of more trust, more security and a much better inner knowing that you’re on the right path. You will begin building the steps towards your future. You need to express your feelings openly, to test the waters, You need to harmonize what you want with what is possible or available. Even if it’s something small at the time, it will grow. Just like a seed being planted. Keep in mind that during this time you’re just figuring out what changes to make, how you would like to conduct these changes, trying different options or avenues and feeling into what you want. Communicate your emotions, your thoughts, and work through your own personal energy. You may not know exactly where you are going or where you will end up. But by doing this it will help to bring you much closer to others. *** Happy Birthday, Aries!!! Here’s a Special Message- Something that happened 12 years ago is returning. This could be a person, a situation, or reviving a dream. Possible second chances. For some of you who have begun planting your seeds 12 years ago, you will finally see the rewards. This time around the energy will flow smoothly and peacefully. I’m seeing you feeling quite calm. You will stand firm in your Element. Normally, Aries is a fighter or a Passionate Lover… But with this new Moon in your sign standing in between two Libra full moons, you are becoming balanced and strong at this time. The color Green could be very significant for you at this time. I’m seeing this with the Heart Chakra. Physical items. This is also literally your “Green light” to forge ahead. PROSPERITY, It surrounds you now. I’m seeing your manifestations coming to life. This period could trigger a desire to travel and a need for inner development.
L E O : Unsatisfied and wanting to move on… Leo, Yours begins in the way that the collective does. You’re not wanting to face something at this time. I’m seeing you receiving a message of opportunity, an invitation to do something exciting and possibly brand new, but it’s as though you don’t trust it. In the past, you spent a lot of time collecting information and investigating. I get this feeling that it’s irritating some of you. I’m seeing you minding your own business, just doing your thing, and it’s as though you have this pesky rodent just eating away at your cheese. Lol Sorry. For some of you, no matter how many times you try to shoo it away, it just comes back. Just pay attention to what you’re trying to accomplish in April. You Lion’s are truly about to set shit on FIRE! Let’s hope not literally! You may be beginning to clearly see who you truly are and/or what you’re made of. Your Confidence will be at an ultimate high around this time. You will know what you want and nothing will stop you from getting it! If you are competing for something others desire as well, you will be fearless, which will in turn secretly intimidate the competition. You will become so focused on yourself, your goals, your accomplishments, that you won’t even notice when others have walked away or gave up. Get ready to hit your mark! It’s time to throw off your robe and bare all!
S A G I T T A R I U S : Three main things stick out at this time… Your Dreams, Figuring out What you want and/or who you are and Long term Friendships. Currently, you’re thinking about all of the possibilities for your future. There hasn’t seem to be much, if any, real movement on this. Stalling energy. You need to get over past issues and disappointments. There is a time out … during this time you will spend time thinking about what life YOU want to now live. Making a plan. Turning to long term friends… They will play an imperative role for you around this time. The strong connections you’ve made through out the years that are so firmly rooted into your own existence will stand beside and behind you. There may be something that you’ve wanted to do for so long and they have supported you when you have felt less confident. You know who you can trust to support you again. For those of you that don’t have many friends, there is a group of people waiting to be formed by you. They will feel like “home”… a very comfortable resonance. The Best ones can be found in the oddest of places. I’m seeing your friend pulling favors and gathering resources to help you during this time. You’re not alone. Reach out to these people and you will be surprised at what you can accomplish!!
Have an Amazing April!! Blessed Be to You and Yours!!
I’m not trying to hate on anyone with this blog post, I can truly feel that some of them are very good people inside, but this has been slightly bothersome to me for almost 3 years, at the point when “Spirituality” completely blew up. For one thing, we are constantly flooded with fake news, and when so many hopped on the spiritual train, then attempted to take it somewhere else, I couldn’t help but to laugh in the beginning as it all seemed quite ludicrous to me.
Truly spiritual people do not care what their hair or nails look like. We do not make appointments to spend time at a salon. That is a waste of time to us. We utilize that time to go deeper internally. We do not care what we are wearing. We do not care to own a bunch of THINGS. We do not tout that we just attended Yoga, snapping shots for all to see. We actually do the least amount of physical activity as possible. At times, we may even neglect our physical selves. We do have our human moments, as we are alive as well… just far from as much as the general society. It is within my human moments, that last around 10 minutes, when I will flip open up a catalogue or go online, purchase a few items and then they end up sitting in my closet forever. Getting dressed on a daily basis consists of grabbing the first things at the top of a pile and then going inside of myself. Comfort Trumps Beauty 99% of the time.
Back in 2004, I went through a Year of what I refer to as a “Shamanism Phase”. I did not and do not spend my time reading text after text of literature explaining to me technical knowledge. I just EXPERIENCE it, work through the energy, gaining real life wisdom to then help others. You will never see or hear me repeating someone else. Though, I have been asked at times if I have read the material of certain individual’s since my conclusions were along the lines of theirs. My reply was simply, “I guess they are correct then!” If these individual’s were coming up with what I had, then they themselves have experience.
During my Shamanism Phase, I immersed myself in the Symbolism of Tarot. I spent about 14 hours a day in deep study. There were times when my Oldest son, who at that time was about 9 years old, would remind to to eat. Yes, My child had to remind me. Especially, when it got past 2-3 days. I wasn’t paying attention to my physical body, aside from the robotic daily shower, doing what I needed to do for my children, then quickly getting back to my studies. I found myself irritated and would grab a few pretzels, crunch them down and say, “There.” Next….. This went on for about a year. Every day would seem as though I was living in a fog. Physical activities appeared to be a blur.
I remember the day I came out of this experience. I was sitting in front of my computer and I went to grab a candle that was on top of my Monitor. Our Monitors back then were chunky pieces of technology that took up space. As I was reaching for the candle I saw my wrist. At first, I thought it was someone else’s wrist and had a few seconds of confusion and disbelief, as I blinked my eyes and realized it was my own. How SKINNY I had become!!!! I didn’t choose when I entered into this “shamanism phase” nor when I exited. But, it was that very night that I had exited. I ran to the bathroom and fully looked myself over. I had been clearly on the edge of death. I didn’t recognize myself. Underneath my eyes was shallow skin of blackness. My physical body looking like a skeleton. Being on the edge of death allows for the individual to live more so in between dimensions to experience certain things that a human really shouldn’t. I will straight out send the warning— DO NOT do this on purpose! I didn’t do it on purpose, and it would be irresponsible and foolish to put yourself in this position just to experience what I am talking about.
Throughout my whole life I have gone in and out of experiences that I could never really explain or speak about to those that surrounded me. My family and most of my friends would not understand. I didn’t even completely understand what was happening to me and why. I’ve been asked by friends who were very interested in what I would speak about “why didn’t I just go and look it up at the library” as a child. Well, when you are brought up in a family of 7 older people who keep telling you that it’s your imagination, you’re making up stories, you’re trying to get attention and that what you’re experiencing isn’t real…. and you are told this repeatedly you start to believe them and think what you’re experiencing doesn’t exist, and that you just might be crazy. I’m going to give an embellished example, so that those that have never experienced anything outlandish can understand… Say you were to see a floating bottle of ketchup. Then you go to tell your family members, of whom are supposed to love and support you that a ketchup bottle was floating in mid air. Your point of telling them is so that you can get answers and feel ok inside. They tell you something like, “WHAT?!?!? That did NOT happen! Stop it!!” Then you are left with the confusion of knowing what you saw and having no one to turn to for answers or to make yourself feel better. Now, Imagine this happens repeatedly for years and years. It kind of reminds me of gas-lighting… only those that do that to another know what they are doing.
The point of me sharing my experiences is because I know damn well that there are others out there that have gone through almost the same thing as myself. Those that had no one to turn to. I have many experiences to share… real experiences and not embellished examples. I know that my blog post started as one entity and merged into what it has become. This is meant to be. This is right on time. This is me and my story. I have so much more to say. This is just the beginning.
I will end this posting with the definition of Spirituality:
I would love to begin communicating with the Souls who have experienced things that could not be explained to them. There’s much more to come.
Blessed Be to You and Yours!
PS… Things are different with my family now. It may have been triggered when I was about 25 and conducted my first spell. (you MUST do intensive study prior to dabbling!!) What I did seemed to prove the unbelievable to them. It wasn’t even meant to do that. It wasn’t even meant for them. But what it did changed my parent’s perception enough that when they came back from a vacation they had gifted me something I never in my life thought they would… Pentacle earrings. I cried tears of relief. Massive weight off of my shoulders. That moment meant more to me than ANYTHING to this day. I had nothing left to prove to anyone any longer. They prepped me for adulthood. Little did I know that I would be doing what I am as an adult. 😉 Everything happens for a reason.
This is the best New Moon to get things STARTED!! I felt compelled to get this out as soon as possible since so many have already begun to experience and go through this process. When it comes to the Sign of Aries, we are gifted a burst of inspiration and passion within ourselves and our lives. Aries, is also spontaneous and about the SELF.
I am noticing looking at the Transit Chart that the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Neptune and Chiron are all in the First house around this New Moon. The chart shows us hanging out in one tight spot. Anytime you try and divert your attention elsewhere you will be brought right back to get things done and headed in the direction you have neglected or put to the side. At first, this reminded me of placing rubber bands over your fingers. As I was mulling over the energy trying to articulate what I was feeling a friend of mine texted me saying, “The Cat’s out of the bag!”. She had never used this phrase since I’ve known her. I was on a search to find a good example of what I was seeing. I found many different variations of playing with rubber bands, came across this particular picture, it was the closest thing I could find. Guess what the name of the game is called…. The Cat’s cradle. 😉
Validation, that for many “the Cat will be out of the bag!” Literally…. Secrets being revealed, Wants being identified, Goals being brought out into the open.
Then I was feeling this state of frustration… You’re trying to break free from a confined state. Going from black and white and bursting into color. Breaking free out of a box. A state that you’ve been stuck in for a long time. Reminiscent of this clip in “Take on Me” by Aha…
During this time you may notice that your mind, body, and soul is much more sensitized than normal as you move towards a higher Level of energy. You may absorb the mood of those around you quite easily, causing your disposition to become mercurial as a result. Welcome to the world of being an Empath for those that aren’t naturally this way! 😉 For the rest of us, we may have to practice blocking energy if we choose to at this time. This transit can add a mysterious aura to the way that you project yourself to others. You will become less practical and more idealistic, dreamy, and sensitive. Some of you may find the mundane concerns of life too boring to grab your attention! Some may feel less confident, as their direction in life is uncertain; others may attune themselves to a stronger spiritual purpose. Watch out for those that may manipulate and create a type of “woah is me” victim mentality to get you to do their bidding… they are just playing on your emotions. Make sure that you as well, don’t fall into this trap.
You will not want to deny yourself of anything during this time! You’re ready to roll on a pleasure seeking adventure to satisfy your senses. This is a very good period in which you are more inclined to speak up about matters that you previously were only thinking about. Your self-expression will happen naturally and easily. Relationships with siblings, neighbors, classmates, and casual friends may become more prominent in your life now. It is likely that you will initiate discussions during this period, evaluate your appearance and the impact you have on those around you, as well as connect with others rather than to stay chained to any one place or activity.
This is the time to be direct and to communicate your needs and interests. You are more inclined to talk about yourself and your personal past now. This may also be a restless time when it is difficult to turn the thinking process off when it would be better to relax! It is an especially fruitful time for any endeavor that requires dealing with words, ideas, and facts. Your demeanor is more youthful, perhaps mischievous, lighthearted, and non-threatening so that others may be more inclined to turn to you for advice or pleasant conversation. Using the power of words to attract what you want or to further your interests works best for you now. Manifestation is Dominating this Phase in Time.
You will feel compelled to drop all fear and go for that individual that you’ve had your eye on for a while. Or to have a Conversation to clear the air… communicating all that you’ve ever felt and have gone through. This is HUGE for getting out there and telling your own story! You may even begin to write that book you’ve been putting off to the side. Or to finally dig that manuscript or great idea out from “under the piles of dust” and submit it. Courage is STRONG is at this time. The Desire to be as free as possible reigns! Wield Your Scepter and put on your crown. Many Personal transformations are underway and will Powerfully change your life!
Ignite your Fire!
It’s time to surprise everyone! And, maybe even shock yourself. 😉
Keep in mind that the New Moon in Aries is quickly approaching on April 5th! New Moon Reading is being posted next week! Could be over the weekend as I’m almost finished. 😉
I pulled the card titled “Keeping Up” from the Alice Wonderland Oracle by Lucy Cavendish.
“THE LESSONS OF YOUR LIFE are taking place at a fast rate – far too swiftly for you to process them! It seems you are only just keeping up with all the changes coming to you! You must work very hard to make any discernible progress, for now. You have been trying and trying to get ahead, and yet you always seem to be in the very same place. This could be in almost any aspect of life – your finances, relationships, career or success. At this point in time, the answer is to work even harder.
You will not have to do this much work, with this much effort, perhaps ever again. But the only way out of your current situation is to accelerate, get intense and push for the breakthrough that is Just ahead of you. You will need to devote more time than you would wish, and sacrifices will need to be made. However, if you do this, you will push through the resistance and EXPLODE into the next stage of your life.
Put all your effort into surging ahead and watch as you begin to move, in the tiniest of ways, ahead of where you have been. Once you take that lead, stay focused on where you are going and you will begin to leave the place you find yourself in now. When you push through, others will recognize the incredible dedication you have to your own life. This will inspire them to push forward with their own dreams, too. One thing is for sure, the intensity of your approach brooks no resistance. Your movement and energy will drive away all stagnation. Now go!
DIVINATION: A time of very hard work. Getting ahead. Determination and resolve to push through into the next stage. To improve your status and be rewarded. Moving quickly, with strength and stamina. A great deal to process and integrate.
(Where you could be stuck) : Sluggish approaches will not be rewarded. Feeling it is impossible to change the way things are. Feeling entrapped by the effort required to change your current circumstances.”
We have shifted from a standstill to movement. Karma is coming in all forms– what is due to you is on it’s way! Some of us are the ones who will make the moves towards giving out this karma. This is the Full Moon in Libra coming up on the 20th, after all! Libra is all about Karma and Justice being served. And with it beginning in the zero degree… it’s ready. Those that have been working tremendously hard towards achievement will be given their rewards. Even if something seemed so far off — that it couldn’t be possible — will become possible. The universe has been watching us. Our Spirit Guides stand behind us. What we deserve rests upon the scales.
Queen of Wands
The Queen of Wands
is well known for her Passionate nature. She is inexcusably confident and
Inspired. She knows what she wants and goes after it. Astrologically, she is a
Fire Sign. Aries, Leo, Sagittarius. If she is not taking action towards her
burning desires, then she is in her own world of planning the next big thing!
At times, she may feel rushed by impatience and become impulsive. No matter
what Astrological sign you are, we all go through each sign at some point
throughout the month.
If you’re an Earth sign and you go through the
phase of this queen, You will feel as though you have become ungrounded. Earth
Signs main energy is one of being physically connected and with the Fire of
inspiration you will feel as though you are floating high above the earth… full
of exuberance and tantalizing light bulb moments. For Earth Signs, it takes
them away from the day to day hustle and grind and helps to get their dreams
If You’re an Air
Sign, You will feel as though you have become FREE. You’re so lost in thought
or stuck in your mind through all of the analyzing processes, being very
critical on each detail. She helps to get you out of your head and into a place
where you can express yourself in such a way that boosts your own confidence
and releases conflicts.
If you’re a Water
sign, you will feel complete. The reason why is that Water and Fire are the
main elements. Without Water and Fire, Air and Earth would cease to exist.
Water has the tremendous ability to dream up the biggest fantasies and helps to
illuminate various pathways. With Fire you will be taking your fantasies and
turning them into a reality. You will feel Balanced. Assured. Rectified.
All is never easy
within the realm of this particular queen. She has the ability to bring about
chaos when it comes to her thoughts, ideas, and opinions. There is always
someone who comes along and wants to battle her. She generates a lot of
Jealousy for being so self assured and willing to take a risk against the odds.
This queen can fight back and win. She knows this deep inside. She has
Strength, and sometimes will choose to sit there and do nothing. All of the
barking and the hating has zero effect. She has been through this many times
before. You don’t want to get on this Queen’s bad side. She has the tendency to
ultimately EXPLODE at some point. Her explosions can cause massive change.
No matter who tries
to battle you…. Stand Tall, Stand Proud, and most of all… Believe in YOURSELF!
We have back to back full moons in Libra coming up! The first one that arrives on March 20th will enter the sign of Libra at 0 degrees. Then the second one exits Libra on April 19th at 29 degrees. Libra will be transiting through the 11th house which rules your friendships, groups that you belong to and/or network in, charity work, as well as your hopes and dreams. You will begin to think about the qualities you want in a friendship, a relationship and how you are as a friend or a partner. Is there an equal give and take? Is there energetic Harmony?
There will be many changes in your emotional life, as well as breakups or divorce if you aren’t with an individual who is both your supportive friend as well as a loving partner. With the full moon in Libra, you’re looking for a balance in your life. Try not to jump into a whole new relationship so soon. One must come to peace within themselves as well as within their lives. Use this time wisely to figure out what you want until around the New Moon in Aries on March 5th.
Collectively, I’m seeing stress occurring with a long term partnership, Friendship, Marriage. This individual is in your environment or around you often (Work place. Texting, Calling) . Definite end to most. Then a healing phase. A lot of people will be taking a long hard look at their relationships and making a decision either to end or to heal it. “Do I keep it and work on it or do I just let it go and wish it the best?”
When it comes to your hopes and dreams you may have been stuck in
dissatisfaction, uninterested with what has been offered to you so far.
There seems to be either a lot of competition within what you’re aiming
for or too many distractions, as well as opinions leaving you feeling
drained and exhausted to keep going at the moment. I’m seeing you doing
something off the fly, spontaneous.
I also see some of you going
back and forth between being devoted to working towards your dreams,
then taking a break. Tweaking your work, then showing bits of it off.
Planning multiple projects; as you will also be working on these
multiple projects. Then showing off some more. Some projects will be
simultaneously. Because of all of this you will be noticed for what you
do. I’m seeing the universe stepping in at just the right time. There
will be someone who spots you, then tells another. Keep working at it
and don’t give up!!
Short Peeks into the signs:
Aquarius- Communicating about plans for the future. Most of you will be
planning how to leave someone you love behind. This can be a friend,
partner or toxic family member. Others will be walking away from groups
that they no longer feel connected to and venturing or asking around to
find new ones to join.
Gemini- Connections!! …With someone you
loved from the past will come around. The two of you will talk about
happy memories. I’m also seeing that you may begin spending time with
someone who reminds you of another. Then you will try to figure out
where they would fit into your life. You must weigh the pros and cons.
Libra- I see you devoted to work or a long term goal you have. This
goes through your head a lot. It even keeps you up at night. At times
over analyzing causes more stress and exhaustion. But you’re very strong
at this time. You will persevere towards your goal and be noticed by
someone that can help give you a boost. This is a New opportunity coming
your way to make more money doing what you love.
. . . .
Cancer- Wishes coming true, Cancers!! I’m hearing “Trick up your
sleeve.” You may take a risk at the last moment and it has the ability
to give you what you want or pay off. You may be keeping it to yourself
at this time. I’m also seeing spontaneous travel happening for some of
you. Traveling to someone you care about. Reaching out and
communicating. Apologies will be given to you.
been stuck in a rut of your own mental making. There is something you
really want but you can’t seem to figure out how to get it or what to
do. I’m seeing you taking the time to study, analyze or figure out
information before proceeding. You may even have others doing this for
you. Then coming back to tell you what they’ve found out. You’re trying
to figure out where or to whom to place your time, energy and effort.
Scorpio- I’m seeing you guys taking a risk in your life. For most of
you, this deals with your career. You’ve been pretty stable for a while
but there is something that you feel is truly missing. I feel as though
there is something you would love to do and the thoughts have been quite
nagging at times. It’s as though you have a little bird on your
shoulder trying to push you in a certain direction. There is a
confidence issue. You will be able to pull through this. There is also
the energy of the past. So, this could likely be something that you
wanted to go after or achieve a long time ago. It wasn’t good timing
then, but it sure is now! 🙂
. . .
Aries- You’ve been trying to move on and heal. This has been going on
for a while. During the healing phase I am seeing you almost like an
alchemist. You have been dabbling in this and that, and trying to figure
out what works and what you need to do to get to where you want to be.
You have 3 very prominent people showing up. 3 kings. I am seeing you
having a very important conversation with another about what you’ve been
doing and about your future plans. There will be great support coming
in by someone who is influential.
Sagittarius- There have been
disagreements and arguments taking place in your environment. You’re
tired of standing up for yourself or someone else playing mind games.
You’re going to make a big decision to cut them out of your life. You
will feel as though communication isn’t going well and want what’s fair.
I see some of you dealing with legal documents. Going over them and
signing them. Try not to sign anything until after the 28th.
New Opportunity for you guys! Some of you may be considering entering
into a whole new partnership. This could be within your career as well.
I’m seeing someone getting hurt by this decision of yours. If you’re
changing careers, you may get along well with your boss and they will be
sad to see you go. Others of you aren’t seeing that this opportunity
could land you into position to go after what you really want. Looks are
deceiving at times. Take a risk!
. . .
Virgo- You feel as
though you’re lacking support. I think you were in this position in one
of the last readings I that conducted. I’m seeing you being given the
help that you need. There is someone you need to speak to / Have a
meeting with, who will “grant you permission”. But you will need to take
quick action to get things situated.
Capricorn- You’re carrying
a lot of weight on your shoulders and have multiple tasks that you’re
trying to complete by yourself. You don’t have much help, if at all. For
some of you, I am seeing that you have a problem with your shoulder
caused by tension/ pulled muscles. You’re trying to hold onto as much as
you can for the moment. I also see you trying to hold back emotion. You
don’t want to explode on anyone. Continue with what you’re doing, try
to delegate certain tasks to others. See where the imbalance resides
within your relationships. You don’t have to do everything alone!
Taurus- You are all about work! You already have an essence of
independence and stability. But you are looking to level up and to gain
more acknowledgement. I’m seeing you working on a new project or
learning something new to be able to bring that into your career. You
have felt as though something was lacking. Your focus will revolve
around doing what needs to be done in order to feel complete and
. . .
You will all be trying to strike a balance within your lives. Whether it be divvying up your time between work and family life, work and education, within your relationships, or making sure that you have the time for yourself in the middle of all that you must conquer and take on. Currently, the energy is about the thought process. The New Moon in Aries on April 5th will propel you forward to take action as you will become fearless and full of passionate inspiration! Whatever you’re trying to resolve or get started will complete around the next full moon on April 19th.
Have a Wonderful Full Moon! Blessed Be to You and Yours! RJ Worrell
Around this New Moon
in Pisces on March 6th we have the Sun, the Moon and Mercury all in the 10th
house. Our 10th house refers to us Achieving our Goals and Ambitions. Your
Career will be very important to you at this time. If you are unemployed you
will strive your hardest to obtain the job you most desire. Some of you will
turn your Hobbies into a Money making business. If you own a business, you will
want to put in more effort, as well as reconstruct your public image —
Advertising, Marketing, Collaborating, Website reinvention.. Etc. Whatever you
can do to UP your game, you will introduce. You will want to tend to any
unfinished business. Any ideas or projects that you have put to the side will
be revised then produced or published ( communicated about, brought out into
the open). This is a pivotal turning point within your Career and Status.
Retrograde period from March 5th till March 28th, it would be very beneficial
for you to network with individual’s who are successful in the line of work you
may be considering. This could also be for the Career that you’re already
involved in, but one in which you are bringing new ideas to the table. Those
that already have accumulated time in this specific sector can offer the most
support. Don’t be surprised if you end up taking a spontaneous break from your
career at this time. The time away can help you to gain better clarity on how
to reinvent yourself, as well as your visions. Strategizing will be in full
During this time,
you may notice that your responses to others aren’t of your Norm. You will
reach out to people you wouldn’t of in the past and you will react to a new way
of being openly. You may question yourself, after all is said and done, viewing
things from a new perspective. Any negative reactions you have expressed in the
past will be reviewed personally as you take a deep dive into your
subconscious. Hidden issues will be pinpointed. Allow that healing to take
place. Look right into the mirror, into your eyes and tell yourself outload
“It is Time for You to Heal.” Repeat this strongly as many times as
you would like. You can even use your favorite/ lucky number. You are Speaking
directly to your Soul.
A Double edged sword
is arriving, as some will revel in the spotlight of Honor and Glory, while
other’s will be disgraced by a public scandal– Hidden agendas surface.
Usually, anything within politics that is hidden or awaiting a big reveal will
also surfaces around this time. Let me know about the last one because I don’t
watch the news. 😉 I’m just the messenger.
Uranus moves into
Taurus as well on March 6th. This will be a 7 year period ending on July 7,
2025. I just noticed, as I do with numbers, the ending date… 7/7/7 lasting 7
years (I take the last two numbers of the year as the main number. Looking
further it has the shadow of a 9- Ending of cycles). Uranus brings Massive
changes and upheavals based upon the sign as well as the house it sits in.
Taurus is an Earth Sign, a Feminine sign, and one that deals with practical
matters, Finances, physical health, education, anything that can basically be
seen and touched. Taurus is also a very stubborn sign, as if the number 7
wasn’t challenging enough. 7 is the bridge between the self and the Universe.
It breaks down existing conditions and promotes tremendous soul growth. The
last time Uranus was in Taurus was around the time of the Great Depression and
WW2. I don’t know much about War, aside from the fact that Both Grandfather’s,
My Father. My Uncle and Cousin fought in them, and to me it is the act of the “Devil”.
Notice how I put that in quotes. It doesn’t exist the way many were taught.
Taurus has a Bull as their Symbolic Messenger. Don’t mess with the bull or
you’ll get the HORNS. With that being said, it is true that light and dark must
exist simultaneously. You can’t have just one. Haha I digress…
Feminine Power is
rising even more so in the next 7 years. The Power of the Feminine came into
play around 2016. We saw Hilary Clinton run. Trump was actually shocked by his
win. I know many don’t realize that because of the way they see things. There
is a brief moment where you can see the reaction that he immediately tries to
conceal. Unless, only the ” tuned in” ones can see and sense this. It
was not a surprise to me when I heard about him refusing to live in the White
House in the beginning. If you truly don’t want something in life then don’t
play around. The Universe saw an opportunity and put him in charge. I can go
more into depth about that if you would like me to, but I feel as though I keep
going off topic. The Many Webs within my mind. Once Trump took office the chaos
was invited in. Have you noticed how opinionated and emotional people became?
Most individual’s who don’t understand about the Feminine and the Masculine,
automatically envision a Woman as the Feminine and a Man as the Masculine. In
Astrology, it doesn’t go based upon what we were given physically, more so what
is in our charts. Me, personally, I am mostly Masculine – Fire- Air- Fire. But
Yet, I am physically born a Woman. You can be a Man and have Feminine qualities
more so than masculine if you have more Earth and/or Water in your chart.
Keeping that in mind, I do believe that there just may be the First Woman
president within this 7 year period.
Taking a closer look
into the Financial Situation. I decided to pull cards. Normally, when I see
court cards I focus on personalities and Astrological attributes, but this time
I felt pulled towards describing what they were wearing and what they were doing.
We have two Men here. They are facing each other, reclining on their lounge
chairs, carrying a conversation in which it makes them extremely happy. One is
so relaxed, he rests in a robe and has a crown upon his head. The other man is
dressed in a suit, he’s also in charge of his domain, he carries a lot of
responsibilities and tries to fix issues by trial and error. They are
discussing the financial situation and making plans for the future. The first
man is very hopeful about this new beginning and the second man feels as though
his dreams will come true. There will be a revision to the way the financial
situation is handled and the old way will be left behind. I also feel as though
that this is speaking about the Wall (Piping going across his chest).
Discussing these with a friend of mine, since I don’t follow the media too
much, she brought up the tools that the King of Wands is holding. I see the
piping as the Wall Trump wants to build. She notes the Brooms and Mops as
“Cleaning up the borders”. He is holding a wrench… Was there a
metaphorical wrench in his plans? Or Is he waiting to use it? It’s looking like
it will truly happen.
Retrograde in Pisces (March 5-28) will cause us to rethink things, to get rid
of parts of ourselves that don’t truly show our greatest aspects, we will
question why it is that we react in such a way. Now is the time to catch up on
any sensitive communication that you’ve been putting off, the sleep that you’ve
missed, and your art projects, music, and poetry. Pisces is a challenging sign
for Mercury, because Mercury is logical and Pisces is intuitive, guided by
dreams, visions, and illusions. On the plus side, if you want to express an
idea poetically, or need to handle sensitive matters and conversations, this is
the transit for you!
Time to take your
Career, Your Relationships, And Your Own Self to the next level!
Have an Amazing New
Blessed Be to You
I have been reading the Tarot since 2004. I have extensive knowledge of Symbolism, Numerology, Colors, Dream Interpretation, Astrology, The After Life, Rituals, and Energy Work. Mostly self taught through experiences and experimentation. I don’t read books based on these subjects, other than Astrology. I find it more personal and powerful to come to your own conclusions through analysis.
This weekly energy
brings about a time in your life when you will feel the need to
“travel”. There is a feeling that something is missing and now is a
good time for you to undertake a quest to find out what. This is not a time to
take a trip to escape from difficulties, but as a time to gain knowledge.
Travel isn’t always referring to Physical travel, we can travel through our
emotions, our thoughts, we can travel within our dreams and visions. We can
travel to the past, within our memories and take a journey through our past
lives. It helps to understand how a particular incident occurred, where our
deepest fears took root, where we may have made mistakes along the way and what
we could bring back that is of upmost important to ourselves and within our
We are coming from
an energy that felt very heavy and restrictive. At times we have felt the
desire to move away from this energy and to focus on our desires. Holding
ourselves back from forward movement. Where and what to put our trust and
energy into. With Mercury Retrograde happening on the 5th, followed the next
day by the New Moon in Pisces, it will become a time to have an honest
discussion about where we will be taking ourselves. We will be tapping into our
emotions on a different frequency. Most of us will relinquish control and allow
ourselves to flow with the current. This current will take us to the planning
stages of our next endeavor and phase in life.
The energy time line
looks like this : Restrictive – Tumultuous – Emotional – Grounded – Freedom.
This is what I am seeing. 😉
We must allow
ourselves to work through these issues in order for us to get to the other
side. The longer we hold back, the longer we will be required to experience the
challenges that cause us great trepidation and frustration. You don’t have to
fight for what you want. Allow the changes to occur, don’t control them and
don’t expect them to become exactly how you envision. Each time you tackle an
obstacle you will become much more confident within yourself to continue onto
the next step.
Great changes in
life are never easy. If they were easy, what type of gratification would you
truly get from them? Those that are true to themselves know that hard work must
be done. It is how we learn from mistakes, it is how we develop the best
strategies for the future, It is how we become stronger as human beings. Silver
platters handed over do nothing for our soul growth.
I have noticed that
there have been a large amount of people passing on in just the past two weeks.
In the Past few days, it has reached a peak. These individual’s are passing on
because there is a new level opening up. Stagnancy needed to turn over. An energetic
clearing is occurring. I send my sympathy to those that were a part of this.
They are currently going through a “viewing” of their lives. If
you’re open and./or have gifts yourself, you should begin seeing signs from
these loved ones by the end of March into April. It takes about a month after
one passes on before they begin to make their visits. Though, you may feel them
in the beginning. Part of their soul breaks away to be at their own funeral.
Once we pass on, we go through a viewing process to pinpoint the lessons we
were to learn and how we dealt with them as living beings. We actually judge
ourselves and our own progress. The Soul does not lie or tell half truths. We
are very honest with ourselves. This is why it is us that judge ourselves and
truly not God (or whatever you choose to call it, as it is all the same), like
most think or have been told. But I digress…
In the next 7 years
we will mainly be reinventing ourselves and our priories. Changes will occur in
the healthcare system, with our finances and how we use them, as well as how we
relate to others.
I will be writing
about this upcoming New moon and several other topics in the coming days..
Blessed Be to You
I have been reading the Tarot since 2004. I have extensive knowledge of
Symbolism, Numerology, Colors, Dream Interpretation, Astrology, The
After Life, Rituals, and Energy Work. Mostly self taught through
experiences and experimentation. I don’t read books based on these
subjects, other than Astrology. I find it more personal and powerful to
come to your own conclusions through analysis.
This is a General
Reading for the Earth Element (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo). Be sure to read your Rising, Moon and Venus.
My Dear Earth Signs…
as I was shuffling I saw a vision of people whispering about you. They are
talking about what you’re doing or what you’ve been trying to achieve. Rumors,
gossip. If only they could focus on themselves and their own issues, right? It’s
not all negative… Some are Name Dropping. Telling others to check you out.
If you’re on Social Media or trying to
accomplish something dealing with the public, this will always happen. The more
you put yourself out there, the more people will talk about you. There will
always be a Negative as well as a Positive.
To expect people to like 100% of what you are doing or who you are is
impossible. Don’t let it bring you down. Word of caution… Don’t share every
single thing either! You must learn to protect yourself and to be cautious with
what you bring to the table.
Even if you’re not
on Social Media, People don’t see things the way you do. That’s obvious since
no one shares the same brain nor soul. Thank god! Who would want to be a
lemming? I feel like you are trying to master something, learn it, implement…
definitely get the feeling of trying to take charge in some area of your life.
But there are issues when it comes to communicating what you are trying to
propose. You feel blocked for some reason.
I’m seeing endings
occurring from your past into the present moment. You left a chapter in your life. You ended an
area in your life that no longer felt like it was for you, or you couldn’t do
more than you wanted to, so you had to make a decision to get out, end it, and
move on. Not everyone is on the same “time line”, so the past could
be occurring for you Now, or later. I feel like this is a relationship or a
career for most of you. An end to a long term friendship and/or situation. You
do have two “family” cards here. The 10 of Pentacles and the 10 of
Cups. You’ve done all you could and now the old phase needs to be released so
that you can focus on something fresh and new.
subconscious. you want to connect with someone specific or connect with people
on a deeper level. But it as though you’re both looking in two different
directions. You can’t see eye to eye. I’m seeing for some of you that you both
want this, and you have tried repeatedly. The man keeps looking at what he has…
so the man could be only focused on the woman or focused on himself (self
absorbed— Personal issues can cause this), while the woman holds space for
him but is looking around wondering what else is out there.
Further on in March,
I’m seeing an offer being presented to you. For a lot of you, this deals with a
new job, making money, a new client, or taking a course to further your
education or to begin to bring in money for the family; up your income as in a
promotion. Remain strong in your abilities to prosper and persevere. There may be multiple challenges in the
beginning but you will be able to get through them and come out very
successful. Try not to hold back when it comes to your own knowledge and your
skills. It is these two things that will set you apart from the rest.
Have a Wonderful
Blessed Be to You
I have been reading the Tarot since 2004. I have extensive knowledge of Symbolism, Numerology, Colors, Dream Interpretation, Astrology, The After Life, Rituals, and Energy Work. Mostly self taught through experiences and experimentation. I don’t read books based on these subjects, other than Astrology. I find it more personal and powerful to come to your own conclusions through analysis.
This is a general
reading for the Air Element (Aquarius, Gemini, Libra). Be sure to read your
Rising, Moon and Venus. The Elements of Fire and Water have been posted. Earth
Element will be posted Tomorrow.
As I was shuffling
the 9 of pentacles presented itself. Telling me that you’re dealing with issues
of independence. It’s as though you’ve been stuck depending on someone else, or
something to come through. Co-dependent on others or something working out in
the way that you want it to. Because of this, you have slowly lost yourself or
your vision in the process. You’re questioning your self worth. Are you worthy
enough to have what you desire? Are you good enough to get what you want? Will
you be able to do this all on your own? A huge resounding Yes is here! You are
right on the edge of a new chapter. It only takes one decision, one choice, one
answer. You need to take the baton now, in your life. You have kept yourself
down and out long enough. You have relied on someone or something other than
yourself for far too long.
The whole time I was
conducting this reading I felt as though I was reading for the Earth element
though I clearly was not. So, I have this big notion that you may be dealing
with an Earth sign. (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo) Or they are embedded into your life
and/or situation in some way.
I’m seeing in the
past that you have sought out guidance. You may have met with a counselor or
received wise advice from someone you know that has been through what you’re
experiencing. They are trying to help you to understand the rules, the
“ways” in which things are conducted or the process that you will go
through. It’s steps to be taken. A set plan in place. What to look out for in
the future. I see you going back and forth on whether or not you want to take
this advice and do something with or about it. Teetering. Should I or shouldn’t
I? Maybe tomorrow….
I’m seeing that the
environment around you is childish and petty. You may even dabble in this
behavior because it gets to the point where you can’t control yourself. You
have a lot of emotion built up. Since you already feel in such a way that makes
you feel inadequate, this drives you to become more so intolerant of what is
occurring around you.
want to take matters into your own hands. You want to be able to provide, to
create stability and security, but you’re lacking the trust within yourself to
do so. You seem to be very frustrated! You know what you want to create is a
comforting environment for your mind, body and soul. You could be afraid that once you make this
decision to move forward that you will lose the sense of safety, even though
you have the thoughts and feelings that you are comfortable with the way things
have been. Maybe too comfortable. Stop
Resisting this change!
You will be taking
charge of your life. Some of you may be meeting with a Woman who listens to
your needs and questions. She will be able to clarify for you. She will also help you to enforce discipline
either on yourself or/and the situation.
Trying to help you keep a type of emotional distance. She will be very encouraging. I see a lot of movement, errands being ran,
and tons of communication. This woman can be a advocate for you, or may be a
doctor. As I see that some of you are considering surgery.
I’m seeing that once
you take this risk you will be giving an emotional farewell to the ones that
have took you so far. A resignation to the way you have been living, a piece of
your life, a piece of your physical body. Celebrating what has been and happily
moving along. There is hope at the end of the tunnel. Have faith!!
Have a Wonderful
Blessed be to You
I have been reading
the Tarot since 2004. I have extensive knowledge of Symbolism, Numerology,
Colors, Dream Interpretation, Astrology, The After Life, Rituals, and Energy
Work. Mostly self taught through experiences and experimentation. I don’t read
books based on these subjects, other than Astrology. I find it more personal
and powerful to come to your own conclusions through analysis.
This is a General
Reading for the Water Element (Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio). I will be posting the other elements in the
coming days. Be sure to read your Rising, Moon and Venus.
AS I was shuffling the 6 cups showed itself. This tells me about the past, memories, conditioning. Then the song by Evanescence titled “My immortal” came on. I’ve included the video down below for your viewing. The entire song may not resonate. There could be a few lyrics that will for some of you. These two things are validated by your overall of 5 of cups. You’ve been in a type of mourning. Unable to move on from past pain and disappointments. I feel as though this could be about a parent for a lot of you. The parent in control, if not the father. For other’s this is about a relationship that you’ve lost. There is definitely something important that was never communicated about. Truth was concealed and not given a chance. Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment.
In the past, few months, I am seeing you taking care of practical matters in your life. You are giving your all within your career and at home. You have built a great deal of stability and security. There’s an individual in your past who carries feminine qualities. They could be an Earth Sign (Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo). They have a protective and comforting quality about them. They could be a family member or a friend in the workplace. They were taking care of you in some way. It could even of been trying to give solid advice and counsel. I’m feeling as though you didn’t want to listen or take what they were trying to offer you. You shut them out… you shut them off. You may have blocked any communication from them. I feel like you did it to protect your own self in some way. I get this sense that it would have “ruined” something in your eyes and you didn’t want to face it.
There’s this new start that you are trying to implement into your life, but for the moment you don’t hold trust within this. You’re looking back at all the time you’ve put in and you’re beginning to see what you couldn’t before. You’re looking back on memories and instances and you’re seeing how dysfunctional it was, or how you couldn’t break free from this situation/person. You’re questioning yourself as to why you didn’t fully see this prior. The environment around you is very restrictive!! There are certain rules that you were expected to abide by. You may have lived your whole life with these restrictions or however long you were with a specific individual, but now you see it from a different angle. You want things to change, and you want them to change now!
I’m seeing you wanting to meet up with someone that you once felt a closeness with. You’re trying to reconcile, but yet there is something blocking this communication from either happening or going well. This could be the individual from the past that you ignored previously. I’m seeing that you want to set the story straight. You’re hoping the issue can be resolved in an equitable manner. Some type of “middle man”, or mediation will help for things to go well, or to get the communication started. It’s as though you both have to come to some type of agreement or common ground in order to heal then move on from this situation. Don’t be afraid of the risk. Don’t allow past rejections to stop your progress. The Past is no more. Work through this issue and rise above it. Get back to the real self. The one that you are. The one you choose to be from here on out! Success is assured once you do. It’s time for a new chapter in your life.
Have a magnificent
Blessed Be to You
I have been reading the Tarot since 2004. I have extensive knowledge of Symbolism, Numerology, Colors, Dream Interpretation, Astrology, The After Life, Rituals, and Energy Work. Mostly self taught through experiences. I don’t read books based on these subjects, aside from Astrology . I find it more personal and powerful to come to your own conclusions through Experience, Experimentation and analysis. If you would like to book an appointment, use the Contact page. I am Still setting up my wordpress. 😉
This is a General
Reading on the Fire Element ( Aries, Leo, Sagittarius). I will be posting the
other elements in the coming days. Be sure to read your Rising, Moon and Venus.
As I was shuffling I
noticed the 2 of wands, it also fell into your spread. This is a very important
message indicating to you to take that final step into the unknown. You’re
dwindling on taking action towards something that could propel you into a new life.
Yes, It’s risky. Yes, you may have more work to do. But this is raising your
status in some way. It’s raising your initiative, your creativeness and will
bring with it an obligation. This obligation becomes a devotion. A devotion to
the task at hand.
I’m seeing quick
changes in the past, full of Inspiration and Ideas! You seemed pretty
passionate about the change/s you would embark upon. You even took the steps
towards this. The steps you took included research, communication, rough
drafts. Currently, I am seeing that this inspiration has been pushed down.
That’s the energy of it. Pushed down, pushed to the side. It may have gotten to
the point of being overwhelming!! Too much to take on, or too much too soon!
You’re feeling a bit burnt out and you haven’t even began. Don’t overlook this
opportunity. And try not to be careless, due to too many distractions and
ideas. There is self discipline required to tackle this task.
You have this great
desire to control all of the details. This is limiting you and what you could
accomplish. It’s as though one side of you says “Let’s Go and DO
this!!” and the other side “It’s not quite right.” You have a
free flowing passionate side that is ready and willing to make this change in
your life. I will lovingly refer to this as your child side. Then you have the
“parent” side of yourself being analytical, practical and it is
drowning out your enthusiasm. It is putting your child side in timeout or down
for a nap. What are you to do?? It becomes overwhelmingly confusing! What
you’re aiming for could be yours, but you’re holding back. A lack of confidence
is also indicated here. I’m seeing you feeling undervalued or unappreciated by
another or other’s. This is causing you to doubt yourself. To place yourself on
You have put in a
lot of work already. Many of you are working on multiple projects. This could
be in various aspects of your life as well. Not just in your career. You know
this would be just planting the seeds at this time. However, I’m seeing you
being very cautious as well with each step your planning on taking. You feel as
though once you go and do this thing, you will have to go into battle with
other people. The environment is overly critical! There may be an individual or
multiple people around you that will think what you’re doing is
“Nonsense!”, as an emotional distance will be felt and witnessed. We
all deal with people like this from time to time. It’s whether you choose to
indulge them in their desires or your own that matters in the end. Who will be
the one staying stuck in a phase of life that no longer suits them? You, not
them! So, you must gather the courage and remind yourself of your goal. Don’t
aggressively throw people to the side that are stating their objections, just
ignore and continue. Smile wickedly to yourself. 😉
You will go on a
personal quest from now through Summer. This quest will truly tug at your
heartstrings and transform your Soul. I see you sharing bits and pieces of
yourself. You will be taking on more obligations and responsibilities. AS I
have stated previously, you will become Devoted to achieving success. Even if
it becomes exhausting or too much to handle, you will keep going. This is your
baby and you are it’s creator! Protect it with all your heart and soul. Bring
that dream into your physical reality!
Have a Wonderful March!Blessed be to You and Yours!
I have been reading the Tarot since 2004. I have extensive knowledge since Birth of Symbolism, Numerology, Colors, Dream Interpretation, Astrology, The After Life, Rituals, and Energy Work. Mostly self taught through experiences. I don’t read books based on these subjects, other than Astrology. I find it more personal and powerful to come to your own conclusions through Experience, Experimentation and Analysis.
Hello! My name is RJ
and I am a recovering Alcoholic.
I never in my life thought that I would be the one saying that phrase. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic parent. I didn’t know he was an “alcoholic”, I just thought he loved to drink. I was only 9 years old when he went away to rehab. It was a chaotic swirl of confusion, sadness and anger. I had no idea what was happening. All I knew was that I felt abandoned. I still had my Mother, as well as my 5 older siblings. But it was like a chunk of my heart was taken away in an instant. You need to understand that back in the 80’s the internet did not exist, nor did I have people discussing addiction around me. I think it was Taboo. He was gone for about two years and I was pretty much left to my own devices. My mother would tell my siblings to watch me, but they were teenagers and didn’t care much to babysit. At times, I would be up the block at my friends house, who’s father was like my second Dad. Other times, I would be walking the neighborhood in search of things to do with my time. I later came to find out that my “Second Dad” was actually my Adoptive Father in a previous lifetime. A tale for another day!
I never enjoyed the taste of alcohol, yet, if there was a wedding I would end up drunk. I ended up drunk at my sister N’s wedding when I was 16. Then ended up drunk at my sister D’s wedding when I was 18. My parent’s kept telling me that I had the red flags as a child. They would find me passed out with a bottle of perfume or cologne next to me (a story my mother has told me a few times) as a young child/ toddler. I never understood why I would go “Sniffing around” for alcohol. I came to realize that the bottles I would find resembled my father’s whiskey bottles and I was merely mimicking what I saw. I will be honest and state that I don’t remember much of my childhood. I wish I could. The reason why I wish I could is so that it would help me to heal certain parts of myself.
As a young adult, my best friend would try to get me to drink sometimes. I remember one time we made plans and she asked me, “You are going to drink though, right???” She wasn’t peer pressuring me, she just didn’t want to waste money and “party” alone. Most of the time, I’d end up taking 3 sips and quit. I just couldn’t stand the taste!! But, if we were out and about, especially at Ybor City, I was getting drunk! It was definitely party time then! See image below… Me partying at Coyote ugly in Ybor City,,, dancing on the bar, getting the crowd excited. The drunk me was pretty fun. Though the Fun didn’t last for long. Each time I would stop and go back, my drinking progressed.
I was a mother of three at this point. I became a Mother at 20 years old. This was a rare night out for me. And because I didn’t get out much, the LION came out to play every single time!
I was about 29 years old when I truly began my “drinking career”. I say that it was a career since I’d spend as much time drinking as one would working (eventually). I would stop for a while, but when I would go back to drinking I would consume more than I would have previously. That is what is called progression of the disease. Each time I would go back, it would just get worse.
2012 was the worse year yet for my drinking. During 2012, I felt that I had a problem and I analyzed it from every angle, even as I poured myself more. I ended up feeling like a crazy philosopher, especially during the midnight hour. Constantly in drunken analysis. I thought that there wasn’t much of an issue because I had been able to stop drinking while I was pregnant with my 4th child in 2010. I stayed away from alcohol up until he was about a year and a half old. Then, I once again, slowly progressed into full time drinking. I also analyzed the fact that even when I did drink he never got hurt, he was always fed, he was always in a clean diaper, he was well taken care of. I analyzed the fact that I didn’t act like my father had. Most of the issues surrounded myself. I didn’t hurt my kids, I didn’t hurt their father. I didn’t see that I was hurting myself. And even if I was, I felt that that was better than hurting someone else. It still didn’t seem good enough! I even went as far as to ask my father if he thought I had a problem, to which he replied, “I don’t know. Do you?”
In the fall of 2012, I sought out a psychiatrist to help me with my accumulating anxieties. Not realizing then that it was because of my hard core drinking that I had come to experience all of these issues. One of the red flags should have been the fact that I would not drink before my appointments, nor did I divulge to him that I drank often. I was keeping that as my dirty little secret. He prescribed me Xanax and Nothing of substance was discussed during my visits. I stayed away from drinking for the first month knowing that combining Xanax with alcohol was a Huge NO NO. One visit before Thanksgiving, as we were saying goodbye in his office he asked me what I was doing for the holiday, then said to “have a drink, have some fun with your family”. I must have shown my confusion on my face. He then said it was OK to have one drink. Little did he know I was an alcoholic and one drink??? Not happening! No matter how hard I wished I could do that. The whole point of drinking was to escape reality for me. I wish I could drink one or two just to feel relaxed, but that’s not how my brain chemistry works. That’s not how addiction works. In my mind, because this is part of the disease, that since a psychiatrist told me it was ok, even knowing he didn’t know of my addiction, then it must be ok. I was given the green light to indulge. My Wise mind knew differently, but the devil inside said “LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!”
Cue in the Black
outs…. I don’t remember much from that Thanksgiving. Though I have pictures to
look back on. It was after combining Xanax with Alcohol that I began
experiencing continuous blackouts. Which should have been an obvious given the
fact that we’re always told not to drink on certain medications. I’m the type
of person who wants the details… the reasons why before I decide my own fate.
You can’t tell me not to do something just because I shouldn’t. You can’t even
tell me not to do something because it could kill me. I’m reckless. I need to
understand the details, the deeper meanings, I need to figure it out myself.
Growing up I was scared of drugs. Terrified!! I would become livid if my friends even smoked marijuana. I was like a parent to my friends. I would take whatever they had and flush it down the toilet instantly. They eventually would try to hide the fact that they did them from me. I was oblivious when it came to drugs and what would happen to someone on them. All I knew, was that the energy of them were negative to me. I have never to this day tried LSD, Cocaine, Heroin, Meth, Crack… but I have tried Marijuana and it was pretty damn relaxing. Marijuana is the only “drug” that doesn’t scare me. The thing is… the deeper reason why I was scared. I would most likely be dead right now. I know and understand that today; but my Soul self understood that since birth. The irony of it all is that I learned in rehab that alcohol was a hard core drug and Xanax was a pill form of alcohol. Two mind fucks, right there. I actually felt stupid for not knowing this already. I despise feeling that way more than anything else, since I’m ridiculously over critical of myself. Intelligence means more to me than any other aspect a human could possibly have. That is what intrigues and amuses me. I spent half of my life deep within the universe in intense study about Souls, Spirits, Lessons, Magic, the misunderstood, the unbelievable.. etc.. I’m now learning all of the things that most people pay attention to their whole lives. The external aspects of the human body and such. I’m hoping to reach pure mastery by the time I’m in my 60’s.
One night in early
2013, I vaguely remember texting my parents, ” I need help.” My
memory goes in and out. When one is in a blackout their brain does not record
what is happening or said. There are many bits and pieces missing that I will
never get back. The next morning a woman from a rehab called me. I did NOT want
to take the call. I almost hung up on her. That’s the fear taking hold that
happens to every person in addiction. You’re afraid to stop, but you also know
that if you continue you will surely die. I agreed and made the arrangements to
go into rehab. I knew that I did not want to continue this cycle in my life no
matter how scared I was. What I knew was that every morning I was confronted
with what I had written to a person I cared about tremendously or had posted on
social media. Both were either extremely embarrassing or hurtful. It was so bad
that I would grab the bottle and begin drinking again to forget about what I
had done. The next morning… same thing. The morning after that… same thing.
This cycle continued for months and months.
Eventually, I would have tears rolling down my face as I poured myself
more. I wanted this insanity to STOP!!! Only I could stop it. I just didn’t
know how. When you’re deep in addiction you feel as though someone else is
There is a reoccurring debate about whether or not addiction is a choice or a disease. Initially, it begins as a choice for everyone on this planet. You do not know what you will become addicted to. Not every single person has the same brain chemistry or genetic makeup. We are humans, not robots. Basically, every single person has an addiction of some type. Some binge watch Netflix instead of cleaning or watching their children. Some become addicted to exercising. Others become addicted to Food. The ones who get ridiculed the most are the ones that become addicted to a substance. Where as the other addictions do not change the way in which an individual speaks, thinks, reacts, or live their daily lives, substance abuse is more prominent and can easily be seen by all. Like I stated prior, I hated the taste of alcohol. I never in my life expected for THAT of all things to take control of me. It eventually did and became something I turned to for every reason under the sun.
The day before I entered into rehab I decided that I would not drink. Even though the woman on the phone had told me not to stop drinking until I got there. I didn’t understand her. She was the first person ever to tell me NOT to stop. Later realizing that if one goes “cold turkey” they could end up having seizures or die. I felt So low and kind of numb. I felt it was very important that the last day before I went away my kids not see me drunk. It wasn’t easy, I’ll tell you that much. It was already extremely emotional and confusing enough and I wasn’t going to take that away by drinking. It’s definitely not something I could have done daily. I already felt bad that I was at this point and that my children had to witness and experience their own mother going away to rehab, like I had at 9 years old with my own father. How the hell did it get to this point?!? This was never supposed to happen. This was never supposed to be my life.
I kissed the kids Goodbye before they went to school. One of my daughters, who was only 12 at the time didn’t want me to leave. She begged and pleaded. I told her I had to go and that she would understand later on. The car pulled up to take me. I took a deep breath and tried to hold back my tears. I had so much going through my head. I thought about changing my mind, then quickly told myself that wasn’t an option. On my ride there, the man would speak with me periodically to try and make me feel more comfortable. He asked me halfway through the ride if I wanted to stop off somewhere at a store. I confusingly answered, “No… why?”. He replied that sometimes patients want to get their last drink in upon arrival. I thought that was so strange!!! Why was that even an option when you’re going away to get help? Apparently, many people do this on their way to rehab. I just wanted to be done with the drinking. That is what they refer to as being “Sick and tired.” Looking back, I was most likely shaking tremendously and didn’t even notice. But he sure did! He was probably worried I would go into some type of failure before even getting there.
I pulled up. He took out my bags. As I walked through the front doors I felt my whole existence relax. I actually felt myself let go and allow the universe to take over. I gave up the fight. This was it. This needed to be done. It felt as though an evil entity flew out of my body leaving me to myself; As though walking through those doors repelled whatever it was. I’m extremely sensitive and Empathic. I have all of the gifts, so I can feel things that most others cannot. I can see things and hear things that many cannot. Trying to explain my experiences hasn’t been easy, since most of the ones that surround me don’t understand. I’m not religious and I wasn’t possessed. Just putting that out there. I would know if that was the case. Whatever this was that loved to hang around me realized that I was serious and that I wouldn’t allow anything to control me any longer.
My 3rd night was the most life changing experience to date. I was obviously going through PAWS (Post-Acute withdrawal symptoms). Though no one in there told me that was what was happening to me. They would check me daily in the morning around 6:30 am. Making me stick out my tongue and hold out my hands. They were scoring my trembles that I couldn’t even see I was having. I saw her mark me a 10. And I looked at her, “Seriously?!? Why can’t I see that?” Being very observant I am in awe when I don’t notice something myself. But no one in addiction sees or thinks clearly. Early in the day I couldn’t help but to notice this one patient. I normally paid attention to no one as importance rested upon what I would learn and not on others there. He was twitching and his tongue wouldn’t stop sticking out. I instantly recalled my own father doing this as he napped. I had forgotten all about that. Throughout that day where ever I would go, there was this man. A constant but gentle reminder to trigger old memories. It was his triggering that began my own spiritual awakening to go back in time to my childhood that night. My thumbs began to twitch uncontrollably, and my eyes welled with tears because it truly validated that I did indeed have a problem.
I started to experience hallucinations. I had never hallucinated before. I was laying in my bed watching images being drawn on the wall before me. It was a kids drawing. First they created a stick figure girl, then a boy, a sun, a house, a tree… at this point one of my roommates walked in and glanced at me, as I was watching a dog forming along with the images. She asked me what I was doing just staring at the wall. I then asked her if she could see the images. She couldn’t. I then looked at her and closed my eyes asking her if bright sunlight was streaming through the windows, since my eyelids were a gleaming color of gold. This specific roommate didn’t require detox as she had nothing in her system upon arrival. She just laughed and told me no. It happened every time I’d close my eyes. I couldn’t stop the images either.
I am an individual that cannot sleep in silence. I need the sound of a fan running. A fan was not an option there. I wasn’t allowed to bring one, nor did they have one. I had asked about it to a counselor and she told me that many ask for them but all she had were meditation tapes. Reluctantly, I took a recorder and headphone set from her. That night I placed the headphones over my ears. I kept attempting to fall asleep but I could not. I kept seeing images over and over again that would make me snap open my eyes because I didn’t want to see them. By the third loop of the meditation I heard a woman’s voice as though she was standing right next to me say, “I’m so proud of you, RJ.” I snapped open my eyes to see who it was and threw off my headphones. Looking around quickly all I saw was darkness and my 3 roommates sleeping. I closed my eyes again.
The image that appeared next was a white lotus flower, floating ever so slowly down a stream. It calmed me, it made me feel relaxed. I welcomed and “followed” it. I then felt as though I was pulled to my past, my childhood, back inside of that house. I turned around quickly and was greeted with a brick wall. I was stuck! I couldn’t go back! I can’t recall full details of what I witnessed, because apparently it was so traumatizing that after a couple days I blocked it all over again. What I do remember is that I went inside of each of my siblings, my mother and my father. I felt their feelings, I heard their thoughts. Every 10 to 20 minutes I was either silently begging God to let me out, to PLEASE not let me experience anymore, or I had to hold in my gasps, my cries, and my shouts so that I didn’t wake up my roommates. It felt like pure torture. I felt like I was strapped to a chair and forced to watch everything going on. I could see myself as a little girl. I was a bystander that no one else saw in the house. Knowing one of my first gifts ever was to interact with spirits and energies, I do wonder that if time travel does exist if I actually saw my future self as a little girl. But I digress… One of the main images that will forever stick in my mind is my father’s face when he would look at me. He always looked at me in a certain way. He always tried to protect me for his own reasons. I know the bigger picture as to why I was protected now. I used to joke about if I was abused I’d probably be a serial killer. (I have morbid humor and make jokes about my painful experiences.) Well, that was validated when I began learning Birth charting. I have a violent placement. When one has a violent placement and they are abused…. I don’t even have to finish that sentence. Our birth placements are a snapshot of what we are born to experience, but just like when reading Tarot cards for the future, we can choose different paths or circumstance’s can change for us. Close call, I say!!! 😉 This state of being stuck lasted for 7 hours. I eventually had to give up once again and just allow whatever to come.
The next morning I
felt elated!! I was tired as hell, having not slept for 48 hours at that point.
I was running around telling anyone I could about what I experienced the night
prior. I then began feeling as though someone was taking blood from my arms.
You know what it feels like when you have an IV inserted when you have your
blood taken. The way the skin gets tugged at. This went on for several hours. I
told the nurses about this. Then I started seeing snakes with their tongues in
my veins. The Normies would freak out about this, but me understanding
symbolism since I was a child knew that Snakes meant Transformation and that
the tongues were taking the poison from my veins. I was still in detox after
all. I always say that If I could redo that night once a year that would always
“keep it green” for me! It would help everyone honestly! I know that
certain doctors are now testing hallucinogens for quitting smoking and such.
Based upon my experience I fully believe it would work! I’m not certain when it
will become widely available yet. Smokers, Keep your eyes peeled.
My first year sober I stopped reading Tarot. I needed to conserve my energy as much as I could. I went to a few meetings here and there. I liked going to meet the people and hear their stories. But, it used to bother me that every time I would go I would want to drink. I didn’t understand that. Plus, the only option I knew of and was given was to attend these meetings. I know that they have helped SO many people. My own father was heavily involved for 15 years. It was scary making the decision not to go anymore. But it felt like I was being mind fucked. I couldn’t explain that to anyone. Even if I tried to they would just tell me that I HAD to go! Yes, I’m speaking about A.A.. I already am a very spiritual person and what I practice seems almost like A.A.. Only, I practice from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. It is my life. My entire existence. I remember at one meeting I really liked this woman who was telling her story and so I went to speak to her afterwards about possibly becoming my sponsor. She had way too many rules in order for me to be sponsored. Gave me a list of what I needed to do. I have always lived within energy, energy shifts, changes… feeling when I should and shouldn’t do things. There was a huge red flag. My sponsor was and has always been God. Buddha. Allah. Doorknob. It doesn’t matter. This miraculous and amazing energy is all the same thing. I call it, the Universe. Sometimes, I call it God, since most of the people I surround myself with refer to it as such. I became very productive in two things I hated with the passion… Cleaning and cooking. It’s very funny what chooses you to become productive in when you allow it instead of forcing it. It just may be the things you don’t like the most that save your LIFE. You could have shown up at my house at any given time and ate off the floors. I vacuumed about 6 times a day, dusted constantly, if a utensil was placed in the sink it would be cleaned immediately. I barely ever sat down.
One main thing is that you must remain physically productive as much as you were drinking or using. Well, mine was from the time I woke up until I went to bed. To tell you I was exhausted by 8pm is an understatement. I went right to sleep for the first time in my life. You also must redirect your focus. If I was watching a movie or a TV show that had partying or drinking in it and I felt my emotions change, I would instantly turn off the television and go clean. The Great Gatsby… Man, I loved that movie and I sure as hell wanted to join in! Click. Off you go!! I barely listened to music my first year sober. Music was my first DOC (Drug of choice). I knew it would trigger me BIG TIME. It wasn’t easy not listening to music, but my sobriety was of great importance. Any time I felt sad or negative I would purposely seek out humor. Comedians are a life saver. I notice a lot of them also make fun of their pain. Kevin Hart even titled his latest show “Laugh at my pain.” Robin Williams is another big name that chose being a comedian to deal with his own issues. I don’t understand people who live in negativity. Especially those that aren’t in recovery and choose to bitch and complain about a raindrop. Life isn’t that hard. Practice being grateful and mindful instead.
Around May of 2015 I began my Instagram. It was initially titled for my last child. I had forgotten about it and never utilized it to post pictures of him. Every day I would post a card and write about it to help my brain heal. Drinking excessively causes so much damage to your brain and organs. Luckily, My organs were still well functioning. At first, I was very frustrated because I had read intuitively for years and I couldn’t even remember the technical meanings of the cards. I did well, but couldn’t read like I used to. My guides saw me frustrated for 7 months.
I finally asked my cards where my gifts went. I had pulled this exact Page of Wands. I heard “They are right here. We are holding onto them for you.” Prior to getting sober I renounced my gifts wanting to be normal SO BADLY. All I had to do was ask for them back. Do you realize how annoyed I was that they saw me struggling for that long and all I had to do was ask for them back?? I guess in a drunken fury I had specifically stated that I had to ask for them back. Like I would remember that. The strange things that one does when they are drunk. I did even stranger things in a blackout. One month after coming out of rehab as I was going through my drawers I came across a sealed envelope that had “Will” written on it. I opened it to see a letter I had written in a blackout. Listing my prized possessions and who they would go to. I did not remember writing this. The crazy thing is that I obviously knew I was close to death. I was told that if I wouldn’t have gone to rehab when I did I would have died that year. By the time I entered into rehab I was a 110 lb woman consuming about 750L of Captain Morgan’s a day, plus a whole bottle of red wine. If I were to relapse I would automatically go to consume that much now, and since my body is no longer used to it…. Can we say death?
I have no desire to drink. My obsession left me after my 2nd year sober. Many go their whole lives obsessing over their addiction. I’m not special. I just worked my sobriety differently. I just knew what to do. I allowed God and my guides to help me. Plus, that 3rd night… it really did a number on my Soul. I remember by the end of that night is when I heard “the 12th step is when you die sober.” I had done all 12 steps energetically that night. I saw myself staring at my grave. And yet I was alive. I am still alive celebrating 6 years later today (4/23/2013 my sobriety date). And now I have written my story. There are so many things I could have implemented into my story of recovery, but I was not trying to turn this into a book.
Sobriety can be achieved. It’s in the way you work it. It’s in the way of importance that you place upon it. It’s within your own discipline. Within your own Deeper understanding of yourself and what brought you to this place. Remember how it made you feel at your worst ALWAYS and you will never want to go back! Addiction Sucks!! It becomes a disease that you unknowingly choose in the beginning. But NO ONE chooses this entrapment. So many need to educate themselves on addiction and stop being so ignorant. I see this constantly on social media. Every one has an addiction, Some are harder to hide than others. Don’t be so judgmental. You’re all being watched.
Believe in yourself.
DO what you need to do to get yourself out of that black hole. You know damn
well that you don’t want to be stuck there. It’s time to beat the shit out of
your addiction like it is a bully trying to keep you down in life. Because that’s
all it is. Something that doesn’t deserve your time. Don’t allow it to control
you… You control IT.
Blessed Be to You
Thank you for
Reading my Story.
Ps… The Woman who told me she was proud of me but could not be seen is one of my main guides. She was in a few dreams over the past couple of years, giving me information or just being there. She is in charge of my dreams, my past life journeying and was my Aunt in a previous lifetime.